//------------------------------//
// Daring Don't 
// Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by keaton-furman-prower 
//------------------------------//

Dear Diary:

So, I was trying to thwart Ahuizotl's latest plan for world domination. Apparently, he wants to carry out a ritual which will enable him to subject the land to 800 years of constant sun. Kind of stupid, if you ask me. I mean, wouldn't Celestia and Luna just get pissed at him and give him a lunar vacation? And even without them, wouldn't the constant heat melt the polar ice caps, flooding coastal regions and causing untold death and destruction? Seriously, did he not think this through?!

Anyway, I was trying to protect one ring he'd managed to overlook, when I get swarmed by a bunch of fangirls. Yeah. I should have know that writing down my adventures was a bad idea. I mean, not only has it made it impossible for me to enjoy conventions, but it's even gotten to the point that I can't relax in the comfort of my own home. Oh yeah, and now Ahuizotl is suing me for selling his life story without giving him any royalties. Yeah, I'm certain he'd totally give me my fair share if he was the author!

But back to the fangirls. One of them, the one with a rainbow mane, decided to stalk me, no doubt wanting me to write her into the next book. Oh yeah, screwing up my mission is totally going to help you get a place in literature! And then she continued following me until I relented and let her help me, and finally we managed to thwart Ahuizotl's plan. But then Rainbow Dash decided she wouldn't be satisfied until she got a place in the book.

The point of all this is that I need to retire. Between the unhelpful fangirls and the recent lawsuits, I'm starting to realize all this saving the world crap is way more trouble than it's worth. If the world needs saving again, they can use their friend nukes.

~A. K. Yearling, A.K.A. Daring Do.

P.S.: Oh yeah, they gave those friend nukes up to save a tree. How very convenient.





Dear Ms. Yearling/Do:

Why not hire Rainbow Dash to beat up Ahuizotl for you? She'd probably love to do it, and you wouldn't have to pay her any royalties.

Sincerely, real-life royalty.

P.S.: It's endangered cat season. Why not go out on safari through a wildlife habitat?





Dear Princess Celestia:

How dare you legalize the shooting of these magnificent felines?!

Sincerely, Ahuizotl.