Dear Twilight Sparkle:
First off, I’m pleased with how Fluttershy has progressed on her assertiveness training. I was worried that “New Fluttershy” would be lost forever once we switched back to “Fluttershy Classic”, but it seems she isn’t quite the same as she was before, so I guess I won after all.
Secondly, I’m quite surprised you didn’t actually implant a microchip into your fax machine’s brain. I mean, haven’t you ever worried that he might one day get sick of your shit and leave you forever? I mean, between the emasculating dresses you and Rarity like to give him, the hilarious abuse you make him suffer through, and his complete lack of self-esteem, it was pretty much only a matter of time before he tried to go off to join the great fax machine migration.
The thing I find most hilarious, however, is your surprising lack of precautions during your journey. I mean, you went off to see dragons, which are incredibly powerful beings who can breathe fire. Did it never occur to you that there might be some horrific danger? I mean, at the very least you should have learned some ice magic to fight against their fires and do some damage. Or better yet, bring along some fairies to do massive damage while being immune to dragon attacks.
Anyway, I’m glad the dragon-costume making lessons I gave to Rarity paid off. Aren't you proud of my new student? Also, I’m worried about the dangers of inbreeding in dragons, given that, in addition to your fax machine, we now have Crackle. That thing is so pathetic! I mean, it almost reminds me of…
Hey, Twilight? Do you by any chance have a dragon uncle?
Anyway, it’s nice to see that fax machine now has some companionship to keep him content in his miserable existence. Of course, he’s probably gonna end up fucking it up and drive the little bird away. Who’d want to live with him, anyway?
Your Dragon-loving former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Don't Fus Ro Fuck with me, young lady.