Dear Rarity:
Remember how much fun we had at last year's Sisterhooves Social? Yeah, I didn't think so, because somepony decided that it would be a perfect time to take a fucking day off to go sightseeing in Manehattan!!!
Your extremely pissed sister, Sweetie Belle.
Dear Applejack:
You do realize how much I look forward to the Sisterhooves Social every year, right? And you do realize that "I was called to duty by a table" does not count as a valid excuse, right? And you do realize that I could hear you and Rarity through the walls during your last "slumber party," right?
You know what? Fuck you and your marefriend. Next year I'm going with Big Mac to the Brohoof Bash.
Sincerely, Apple Bloom.
Dear Apple Bloom:
Don't worry, you won't have to wait for next year.
Sincerely, Big Mac.
Dear Big Mac:
Say what?
Sincerely, Apple Bloom.
Dear Coco Puffs:
You know, if you needed help setting up a play in Manehattan, I would have been happy to lend a helping hoof. After all, any mare who has the sort of skill needed to create such an amazing spool of thread deserves all the help they can get!
And besides, I could have used my powers to make your little play an undeniably unforgettable experience for everypony involved. Provided, of course, that I could get around your city's pesky "No chocolate milk rain" laws.
Sincerely, Discord.
Dear Moondancer:
I have been really bored as of late. Therefore, I shall be requesting your presence in the Castle tonight. I assure you, it will be an excellent opportunity for you to meet my student, Sunset Shimmer, and my former rival, Trixie Lulamoon. And believe me, we will have so much fun.
Your old friend, Twilight Sparkle.
P.S.: If possible, bring a couple of guards along. I hear there's a talented young pegasus from the Crystal Empire visiting this week.