//------------------------------//
// Castle Mane-ia 
// Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by keaton-furman-prower 
//------------------------------//

Dear Diary:

I always knew that Pinkie was a stoner, but I think it's passing on to me. I'm seeing hooftube videos on parchment paper!

~Princess Twilight Sparkle





Dear Princess Twilight:

Why are you bothering to go through that old castle in search of books? Didn't it ever occur to you that, I don't know, all that paper had rotted away after centuries of being exposed to the elements? Of course, you never were the smart one in our, ah, relationship, so I guess I shouldn't expect much from you.

Then again, if you were actually lucky enough to find any non-rotted away books, then maybe you ought to be careful. Who knows what sort of treatment they used to make those things so durable.

Also, I cannot fathom why you would skip out on the Most Daring Pony Contest. I mean, don't you know what the winner gets in those competitions? You could have dominated those two in so many ways! (I know exactly how you'd dominate them, by the way.)

So, anyway, I'm not going to miss your letters. I never asked for any letters, and yet you continually gave them to me, preaching how great you were while talking about how lame your friends were. Of course, I may or may not decide to spy on your diaries anyway. Or maybe send one of my minions to do it for me.

As an aside, I regret to inform you that I decided to sell your scepter on pBay. You wouldn't believe how popular that thing got. I don't understand it, really.

Your enterprising former teacher, Princess Celestia.





Dear Cellie:

I told you you'd get a whole lot of bids on the Twi-cane! Now will you agree to let me make a million more? I promise you, it will be all the rage this Hearth's Warming Eve!

Love, Discord.