• Member Since 17th Sep, 2013
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Captain Unstoppable

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." Sherlock Holmes


Being the mayor of Ponyville is not easy, not when you have the Elements of Harmony and the Cuite Mark Crusaders always causing trouble. Mayor Mare has a solution however, a Bachelor auction and Big Mac is the star of her little show. Follow Mac as he goes through his own personal hell, while the other stallions seem to be enjoying themselves!

Stallions on the Block: Big Mac, Soarin, Braeburn, Bulk Biceps, Prince Blueblood, Flash Sentry, Caramel, Thunderlane, Dr. Whooves/Time Turner, and Spike! Also two new ponies that you might be able to recognize.

Written by: Captain Unstoppable
Jake the Army Guy
Featured Story?! Thank you all!

Update: Since all of you have been debating the age, Jake and I have decided that the ages are as followed. Main Six are in their early twenties. CMC/Spike pre-teens 10-12. Mac mid twenties.

Thank you as always to jszellmer for the edits.

Thank you to KarmaDash for the idea bouncing along with Shrapmo as well.

Finally thank you mcwhale4 for the great cover art!

Also, here is what Auction has been like for Jake and Cap

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 896 )

Well the prospect of letting ponies bid for a date with Big Macintosh alone sounds promising, as does Soarin if Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Spitfire, and Fleetfoot get involved in a four way bidding war. :eeyup:

This should be fun, for us, not for the ponies. :rainbowlaugh:

looks great can wait to see what happens!:heart:

Braeburn must be a part of this. BRAEBURN MUST BE A PART OF THIS. :pinkiehappy:

This. :ajbemused: This is awesome. :moustache: I must have more. I want the next chapter on my desk by next Tuesday. :eeyup:

I thouht this was going to be a MacDash fic. but is sounds fun whatever happens!:pinkiehappy:

On to the comedy! More stallions are needed for auction... But now that I think about it... A few of the stallions might not get ANY bids on them. So for safety, I'm sure Mac or Soarin put up first might give the betting the get go.

maybe derpy and Twilight can have a bidding war for Time Turner? :twilightsheepish:

Please let it be Zecora who wins Big Mac.

I have one problem

Spike is a BABY dragon, it also seems to be in the present and twi would never allow it

So tread carefully

Also can't wait to see how blueblood gets roped in

LOL, I've been in one of these before; back in Oberwiessbach, they had a bachelor auction every April 17th. It's hilarious to see some of the stuff that goes down at them - people getting into fights, prior relationships being ruined, guys who don't have a clue how desperate they look trying to act all manly on the stage; priceless memories!
Ah... Thank God I'm married now - attendance was always mandatory for single men ages 17-25, and I don't do crowds very well; I just sort of choke up on stage and start clenching my hands... LOL - Thank GOD I'm married now!
Anyways, nice story - hope to see more.

Before reading the discription the image for the story made me think this was about oddball M/M pairings from how the guys are posing like Braeblood, SoarinMac, ThunderBiceps, CaraDoc,and Spikefloor.
Interesting concept either way.

the 3 chapters I can't wait for

1- How the hell is Blueblood going to get himself in this!

2- Bulk Biceps...........just, Bulk Biceps, can't wait to see his auction!

3.- Spike will get Da Ladies!

It is for one reason alone that I want to see this go to shit.

:rainbowkiss:Swimsuit competition.

Mwa ha ha ha .... I can't wait till I can read more. This story ish so good

Also ... in reference to future chapters;

3863092 He might be a baby dragon, but he's older then he looks. Besides, maybe Mayor Mare intends to give the colts and fillies someone to bid on that's within their age group.

3864139 woah man....you don't just ask for a ship....

Comment posted by flame5768 deleted Jan 29th, 2014

3863397 i don't think spike'll be in this..they would've tagged him in.

3864257 oh god! so how many spike jokes will be made in this fic?

3863980 well assuming twilight hatched him at 4 that would make spike 4 years younger than the 6.now the six have been responsible but a little careless so i'd say they're about 16/15 so spike should be 11/12. now the cmc would be about 2 from a turn point but they could talk fine and get long boards and metal. so i'd say they are about 6/7 yrs old. thus proving you wrong.

Mares objectifying stallions? Yay! One of favorite genres.

Though I do find the Mayor's logic a bit flimsy. The point of a national government is help out communities when disaster strikes.

Well, that depends^^ If Cadance is his big sister, go to her.
"Be Be, go let yourself be auctioned off for charity purposes!"
"Okay, Cadie..."

Bid against Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon? Oh boy, that might get ugly. Metaphorically. They're actually really pretty girls, after all.

Rarity owns her own business.
AJ basically runs the farm.
Rainbow Dash is a candidate for the biggest professional sports team in the world.
Twilight is a princess, thus is judged responsible enough to lead.

Iunno, this is all headcanon, but I always saw them as late teens, early twenties, which would make Spike and the CMC as late preteens.

Also, this isn't a wet t-shirt contest or some kind of escort service. It's a date. We can be assured that they wouldn't let Spike be exposed to anything inappropriate. And by "we," I mean 3864389 and I. You know, the dudes writing this. :ajsmug:

3864394 Wait we are taking out the wet t-shirt contest?! Damn it! :twilightangry2:

3864265 Ah! You seem to have forgotten Equestria Girls. Dude I'm pretty sure that the CMC are at least middle school age, considering that Canterlot High is a Middle/High School.


It's okay, we can still have the thong contest... if we can find one big enough for Mac...

So the reason she can't ask their majesties for damage compensations (at least for some of the events anyway) is fear of being seen as incompetent. It has absolutely nothing to do with the audits that would come from said funding does it, all the making sure the funds are being spent properly? Of course she doesn't those fine faux leather chairs were most certainly not paid for with town funds after all right? :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

Oh well it's understandable, even Joker is afraid of the IRS.

3864490 It's no problem. It's just a shipping war as always.

3864466 I think that is just normal shorts for him lol

3864496 You just became one of my favorite people. Batman the Animated Series for the win!

3864394 Actually Digi Brony made a really good point about how the mane six could be 16/17 also in Equestria girls they are they appear to be in the middle of their high school year.


I point to the CM Chronicles. Cheerilee was in the class with Rarity. I simply don't see the town letting a 16 year old be their only elementary teacher. And if the argument goes to "Well, horses age differently," then whatever their age, they seem more like young adults mentally when compared to us.

And Digi lost all my respect when he hated Daring Don't but loved Equestria Girls.

3864516 It's headcannon. We are just kind of going with what we believe there ages are. Also as Jake knows...I am not too good on watching the shows...

Ooh! Amaing work! As usual of course! :derpytongue2::ajsmug: Can't wait for the next part to come out! I love the story! :rainbowwild:

My ideas:

1. Rarity talks to Princess Celestia, who threatens to cut of Blueblood's allowance unless he participates.

2. Well, Fluttershy and AJ certainly seemed to enjoy his company in Rainbow Falls... especially Fluttershy. And Cloudchaser had no problems teaming up with him in Wonderbolts Academy.

3. The CMC pool their pocket money to bid on Spike - only to be outbid by Diamond Tiara and/or Silver Spoon. :moustache:

Good captain you never cease to amaze me :ajsmug: Cmere and gimme a hug. And have a cookie... An EVIL cookie :raritywink:

3864708 Also give Jake some love, he is the co-author on this. *Eats cookie* Eh...I am already evil. I was trained by Mr. Popo and Alucard.

Hah! Sega sister... I get it now! :rainbowlaugh:

3864544 And what's so wrong about Twilight and Flash?

Three Fillies of the Apocalypse

Congrats, you've just taken 3rd place for Best CMC Nicknames. (1st and 2nd go to Butt Stamp Brigade and Tramp Stamp Trio) :pinkiehappy:

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