//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Enjoy Your Prize! Part One // Story: Ponyville Bachelor Auction // by Captain Unstoppable //------------------------------// Chapter 9: Enjoy your Prize “Do I have to?” “She won ya fair and square. It’s the least you can do.” “But I don’t want to go on a date with her! I want to go on a date with you!” “Oh, stop being such a baby. Maybe ya should of asked me instead of gettin’ all swept up in that there auction.” Soarin groaned and fidgeted once more, earning yet another annoyed huff from Applejack as she jerked his dark blue tie a bit harder than was necessary to adjust it. They stood in the farmhouse dining room, preparing him for the date he rightly owed to Cloud Kicker. His mane and tail had been brushed back from their usual windswept look, and his wings freshly preened. He would have looked handsome enough to ask Celestia or Luna out on a date, were it not for the sour expression on his face. Applejack took a step back from the stallion. “I gotta say, when ya decide to clean up, yer one mighty fine looking stallion.” She giggled at the light pink flushing his cheeks. “I’d say!” Soarin and Applejack turned to Granny Smith as she walked into the kitchen. “Why’d if I was yer age AJ and had a fine stallion like this comin’ around fer pies, I’da had him tied around mah hoof within the first week!” She then gave Soarin’s flank a slap, causing Soarin to give out a filly-like shriek and jump away. “Really, Granny?” Applejack asked, while Soarin fought to get his wings under control, turning his jump into a trot and moving to sit next to Applejack, using her as a shield from the elder mare. “Ain’t my fault that I still have a healthy interest in stallions,” Granny said, getting into her seat at the table and pulling the newspaper to her. “And I’m willin’ to act on it, unlike some mares.” Applejack and Soarin both turned away from Granny as she opened her paper, both their faces starting to warm a bit. “Honestly, it was plain as a flashin’ neon sign that he was interested in more than just pies,” Granny paused for second, squinting her eyes in concentration. “Mostly.” Soarin’s face grew dark while his eyes went wide, as Applejack pulled the brim of her hat over her eyes. “Do you have to?” Applejack moaned, fidgeting as she tried not to make eye contact with the equally flustered stallion. “When yer as old as I am, ya gotta get yer laughs where ya can,” Granny said, flipping another page. “Besides, with how old I’m getting, it’d be a plum miracle if I get a great grandfoal before I kick the bucket! Slow as you’re going, li’l Bloom will be having foals a’fore you!” Granny didn’t have to see over her newspaper to know the two ponies before her were getting even redder at her words. “Speakin’ of slow…” The screen door to the kitchen opened up and Big Mac entered, looking as stoic as ever with his yoke and a sprig of wheat. He walked right past the commotion as he headed for the pot of coffee on the stove. “I heard that you and Braeburn both got bought by a pegasi,” Granny said. “When did the Apples start takin’ a fancy to wings?” Applejack kept her face hidden by her hat, a short groan escaping her lips as Soarin’s eyes darted around in search of an escape. Mac didn’t respond, simply pouring himself some coffee. Granny merely tittered, looking back at the hallway towards the stairs. “Now where is your lazy cousin at? I ain't seen hide nor hair of him since the whole hullabaloo.” “Don’t know. Headed off with Miss Fluttershy and Miss Spitfire at the end of the auction,” Mac said after taking a sip. “Oh? Well, I may end up being a great grandma after all,” Granny tittered to herself. “Are Soarin and AJ gettin’ married?”All heads whipped around to find Apple Bloom sitting at the table right next to Granny, staring at Soarin and Applejack. She had entered the room without making a sound, putting herself right in the middle of the conversation. Her head cocked to the side a bit as she looked around at each pony’s shocked expression. Except for Mac, who just kept sipping on his coffee. “What?” “Bloom,” Applejack started, suffingly on her hooves as Soarin’s wings ruffled slightly. “Uh… why would ya think that Soarin and I are getting married?” Apple Bloom tilted her head again, like a dog trying to learn a new command. “Well, yer doin’ what ya said Ma and Pa used to do.” Applejack blinked at that, turning to Granny and then Mac, the former grinning like a madmare and the latter pointedly looking elsewhere. “We are?” “Eeyup!” Apple Bloom squeaked. “Y’all used to tell me how Ma would always help Pa look his best no matter how much he fussed! He would moan and groan like Ma was torturing him or somethin’. Then when it was all said and done, she’d give him a kiss on the cheek and he’d get that goofy kinda grin I seen on Soarin’s face at the auction!” Soarin’s cheeks flamed and his wings fluttered ever so slightly. The idea he was being compared to Applejack’s father was a bit embarrassing, but also kind of honoring in an odd way. He looked at Applejack, the redness returning to her cheeks as she cast a lightning quick glance towards him, the slightest hint of a smile on her face. “Well I’ll be,” Granny said, ruffling Apple Bloom’s mane. “Ya hit the nail on the head there, lil’ sprout! I guess it's true, mares do tend to find themselves a stallion that reminds them of their fathers.” Applejack let out a little sputter at this, her cheeks likely hot enough to fry an egg. Granny just chuckled and proceeded to push herself from the table. “Now come on youngin’. I need yer help in the living room.” “Doin’ what?” “I just need yer help. Now leave them be,” Granny called back, “Else ya ain’t gettin no dessert tonight!” At those words, Apple Bloom shot up from her seat as though it was a hot stove, and darted after Granny. Mac just shook his head and placed his now empty mug in the sink and left the room without a word. As he did, he stopped in front of Soarin and eyed him. Soarin just gave a weak smile as the red stallion gave him a once over, looked him in the eyes, and then snorted before going back outside. Soarin looked after him, then back to Applejack. “What was that about?” The redness on Applejack’s cheeks had only begun to fade. “Oh, he’s just tryin’ to size ya up, being the overprotective type,” she said with a shrug. “He’s a good stallion though.” “He better be,” Soarin said, puffing out his chest. “He’s got a date with my wingpony. If he hurts Crash, he’ll have to answer to me, and all the other ‘bolts! That is, if you don’t get to him first,” he said with a wink. Applejack shook her head, as she stepped in front of Soarin to smooth out his tie. “Stars above, you’re a goof,” she muttered, before giving him a peck on the cheek which made his wings flutter. “But I like goofs.” she added, as she patted him on the chest. “Now, go on, git! You show Cloud Kicker one heck of a good time, and maybe we'll see what I’m up to tomorrow evenin’.” Soarin raised an eyebrow at that and smirked. “Oh? And what might you be doing tomorrow evening?” He asked, flashing that wolfish smile of his. Applejack returned it with her own, walking past him in the process, flipping his nose with the end of her tail as she walked by. “I’m either going on a nice date with a blue pegasus, or washin’ my mane fer a few hours,” she deadpanned, leaving Soarin alone in the kitchen looking after her. He stayed there for a few moments, giving out a deep sigh. “Sweet Luna, I hit the jackpot with her.” He said happily as he turned towards the back door. “Cloud Kicker you better be ready for the full Soarin’ special.” He flared his wings and leapt into the sky. Cup Cake was in the back of the bakery, putting orders together and keeping up with the normal rush of ponies for the day. Usually she’d be working on the front counter, dealing with ponies all day, while Carrot did the baking in the back. When Pinkie was around, she would float between the two and help out with whatever they needed. That day however, Carrot wasn’t feeling very well and joined the twins for their afternoon nap, having barely been able to stay awake for the morning shift. This was nothing new between the married couple, sometimes one would have to stay up all night with the twins if they were fussy and would take a nap with them in the afternoon. This was easier when Pinkie was around, as she would take over the responsibility of the Cake that was taking a nap. Today, Pinkie had all but begged to work the front and take orders all day. She had been bouncing in place, pleading so much that Cup Cake had no idea if the pink mare had even taken a breath during any of her begging. Unable to take it anymore, she allowed Pinkie to work the front, and Pinkie squealed as she ran to the front counter. Cup Cake had no problem working the back. It was a nice mental break for her, to just do a simple job instead of dealing with all the different customers and their orders. Sure, most of the time it was simple but there were always those one or two difficult ones that would test her, to keep from knocking their lights out no matter how right she would be for doing it. While in the back, she didn’t have to deal with that and only had to remember when to check the oven, and what supplies she needed. “Yargh! That be three bits, ya scurvy dog!” Cup Cake blinked. She turned to look out the open door that led to the front of the store, confused by the sudden voice. She could clearly see Pinkie standing there, taking the bits the customer gave to her. It was not unheard of for Pinkie to do voices when she was working, but that voice sounded more masculine than normal, and even the customer was surprised. Shaking her head, Cup Cake went back to her work. Pinkie could act as silly as she wanted so long as she got the work done and made the customer happy. As she put another tray of cookies, another unknown voice echoed out from the front. “That will be, uh… Pyat' bit? Da! Five bits!” “Since when could Pinkie do a Stalliongrad accent?” Cup Cake murmured to herself, turning back to the door. She had heard nearly all of the voices Pinkie could do, but she had never heard her use such an accent before, and one that sounded just as masculine as before. Looking out the doorway, she saw Pinkie standing behind the counter by herself, the customer on the other side looking just as bewildered as Cup Cake. Once more, she could not figure out how Pinkie was doing it, she had never heard her change her voice that much! Putting the cookies in the oven, Cup Cake finally walked towards the door, trying to keep herself from making any sound at all. Once was just odd, but twice called for further investigation on her part. Pressing herself up against the wall, she leaned over just enough that she could get a closer look at Pinkie, but not so much that anypony that wasn’t deliberately looking for her would notice her. The next pony in line was already looking over the glass case that held all the products of the day, pointing out their order as Pinkie nodded. Without a word, Pinkie went to retrieve the items, humming to herself the entire time. When she moved away, Cup gasped. Caramel sat tucked away beneath the counter, reddened face twisted in a cheesy grin. The hidden stallion watched Pinkie get the items, before he looked down at a menu by him to check the prices. Carmel also had a pad and paper with him, and Cup Cake saw him furiously scribbling on it—likely to work out the total—before Pinkie came back. As she bagged up the customer's order, Caramel stifled a giggle, then opened his mouth. “That’ll be seven bits, old chap! Will there be anything else this morning?” Pinkie worked her mouth up and down a bit, doing her best to mimic the Trottingham accent that Caramel tossed upwards. The customer blinked hard a few times, let out a nervous chuckle, then grabbed his pastry and fled. Once the customer was out of sight, Pinkie broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, pounding a hoof on the counter. Below her, Caramel fell to his side, tummy heaving under the force of his wheezing giggles. Mrs. Cake bit her hoof, not wanting her own chuckles to interrupt the cute couple. She then blushed when she noticed that Caramel was still wearing the collar Pinkie had slapped on him during the auction, and that it now sported a leash, and that the other end was tied to Pinkie’s hoof. She would have to ask them to do away with that once the twins woke up, but for now, she just shook her head and returned to the kitchen. “Heh-heh-heh. Kids.” Blueblood was cross. No, cross didn’t even begin to describe how he felt. He was livid. When Prince Blueblood went on a date, he would travel on expensive airships or yachts, seeing shows, eating at restaurants that took other's months to get in at. And of course, only with the most beautiful and influential mares around his arm. So why was he, Prince Blueblood, descendant of Princess Platinum herself and heir to the throne of Equestria, albeit a very distant heir, standing outside a cottage in the middle of the bloody woods? The cottage had an overgrown garden, painted in a spectrum of colors that didn’t match, or have any set design to them that he could identify at all. Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the path to the cottage was simple dirt! Not even cobblestone, but actual dirt! He would have to ruin his perfectly done hooficure to even begin this trainwreck of a date. Bluebood let out an undignified grunt. Out of all the mares at that outlandish auction, why was it that he was claimed by a mare of such poor taste and not a hint of class?! “If only Aunt Celestia hadn’t forced me to go to that accursed auction,” Blueblood murmured as he took in a deep breath. “But a gentlecolt I am, and a gentlecolt I shall be! A prince does not break his word…. not even to a filthy peasant.” With that, Blueblood marched up to the front door and knocked hard on the wooden door. “Just a tick, brah!” He heard the familiar low and airy voice of the mare that had won him, and feebly suppressed a shudder. I am to spend a whole day with this… this… Before Blueblood could finish his thought, the door swung open and the green mare appeared before him, beaming at him with the easy smile of one that never seemed to worry about anything. “What up, Blue Dude? Blessings and positive energy upon you,” she said, holding her hooves out as if giving a benediction. “Come on in, I can’t wait to start this date!” she said, laughing a bit. Blueblood just scowled at her. “My name is not Blue Dude. It is Blue-blood! Prince Blueblood to be more accurate,” he fumed, taking a hesitant step into her home. Tree Hugger merely laughed as she welcomed him inside and closed the door behind them. As soon as the door shut, he noticed a distinct smell in the air, like a mixture of spices that clung to the inside of his nostrils. He gave a snort to try and rid the smell, but it stuck around. As he shook his head, he took a look at the living room of Tree Hugger’s cottage. What looked like second-hand rugs were scattered across the room, strewn about so that not a piece of the hardwood floor could be seen. Some were in the shapes of diamonds, others a leaf he did not recognize, and many other designs, none of it matching at all. Bean bag chairs were the only furniture in the room besides a table that held a lava lamp and some strange glassware that Blueblood was also unfamiliar with. The room was also rather dimly lit, with heavy curtains on the window not letting in much light, but the streams of light that were allowed in reflected off glass that was set into the ceiling, casting an array of colors and lights every which way. “Isn’t it, like, super chill?” Tree Hugger asking, walking up next to him, admiring the living room. “This is where I come when I need to realign my chi and let my auras untangle from the universe for a tick, ya know? I cleaned it up for you, but it's still real mellow, right?” Blueblood suppressed a shudder as she spoke. Her voice was so languid and slow, as if there was nothing important to be done, ever. Eyeing the room again, he gave another snort, trying to get that smell out of his nostrils. “Right… mellow.” The words felt strange to him, but they served to make Tree Hugger giggle. “Awesome! See, you’ve been only around my positive vibes for a bit, and already you’re getting better! Like, by the time we're done, your energy is going to be at one with everything!” she said before smacking his shoulder. Blueblood let out a grunt as Tree Hugger walked on past him. “Take a seat, Blue Dude, I’ll get us some brownies and then we can chill. Take a load off and I’ll be back.” With that she walked into the kitchen leaving Blueblood alone. “It’s Blue-blood!” he nearly shouted after her, only to be greeted by laughter as she went through a curtain of beads into what he presumed was the kitchen. That’s all? She just wants to sit around and…. chill? Blueblood had no problem with staying indoors. As long as he was not seen in public with her, his reputation would be safe! The last thing he wanted was to have his picture all over the tabloids with this mare, and all the ridiculous articles that would follow it. With that crisis averted, he turned back to the living room, or more so at the bag that was closest to him “How is one supposed to sit in these things?” Blueblood asked out loud, looking at the bean bag chairs. He had never been in the same zip code as this piece of common furniture, let alone sat in one. He prodded the bag with his hoof. The tip sunk into it, and he jerked back. The sensation was alien to him. The material felt odd. Cringing, he moved in front of the bag and slowly lowered his royal flank into it, his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. The bean bag molded to fit him as he lowered himself till he was sitting on the edge of it. He felt his cheek heat up as he sat on the strange piece of furniture, unsure if he was sitting in it right. He did not dare move though, his pride not allowing him to, and not because he was feeling nervous and uncomfortable at all. He was a prince, he would weather this storm like a true stallion. Trying to take his mind off the bean bag he sat upon, he gazed around the living room again. His eyes eventually came to rest on the strange glass artwork on the table. Each one of them, he had to admit, looked like art. Some were stained in strange colors, others with intricate designs and shapes. All Blueblood could compare them to was test tubes he had seen in some unicorn’s laboratories, except it looked like a pipe was coming out of them on the lower part. This Tree Hugger was no unicorn, so he doubted they were for science, so what would she use them for? Just as his horn lit to levitate one of them over to him, a new scent made its way through all the spices in the air to his nose. The scent tickled at his nose, tempting him to take in a deeper inhale. As he did, a smile made its way onto his lips as he tried to inhale more, until his lungs could not hold anymore. The scent was of rich, milky chocolate, the kind that left a phantom taste on your tongue when you smelled it. Blueblood closed his eyes as he pointed his nose in the air, taking in deeper breaths of that wonderful smell. “Like, I guess it's true what they say. The fastest way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach.” Blueblood’s eyes open suddenly to find Tree Hugger placing a plate of the best looking brownies he had ever seen on the table before him. She turned back to him, and cocked her head slightly, her purple eyes seemed to be confused. “What?” Blueblood demanded, feeling his temper flare at her gawking. She was the odd one here, not him! “Do I have dirt in my mane?” He looked around for a mirror to examine himself, the walk in the woods must have messed up his wonderful mane and coat. “No, dude. You're sitting wrong,” she said, walking over to him. “You got to relax if you want your chakras to fully open to the world around you, ya dig?” she said, putting her hoof on Blueblood’s chest. He didn’t know if his eyes could widen anymore, but that didn’t stop him from trying when she placed a hoof on him. Him! “Now see here! I do not like it when ponies put their hooves on—” “This is my date, right?” Tree Hugger said, interrupting him, looking him straight in the eyes. “Well yes, but—” “And we do what I wanna do, right?” “True! But—” “Then just relax, man,” she said, as she pushed her hoof against his chest. “You have nothing to worry about. This is a place of open feelings and energy. Just go with the flow, man,” she said, her voice low and almost soothing. Blueblood took in another deep breath and… and… he did start to feel a bit more relaxed. He didn’t know why he was, but something about it did soothe his nerves. Blueblood noticed that the scent of spices had returned, a bit thicker this time but it didn’t bother him as much. In fact, he found it rather pleasant now. He allowed Tree Hugger to push him into the bean bag till he was on his back, his forelegs bent in the air. “See? You're already looking better!” Tree Hugger said, delight in her voice as she took a brownie off the plate. “Now, the moment I saw you at the auction, I could tell that your vibrations were totally out of sync.” “My... vibrations?” “Totally. That’s why I paid for this date! You are in desperate need of a karmic cleansing. Open yourself up to the experience of experiencing. Now, close your eyes and open your mouth.” “Now why would I—” “Just do it. Trust me, it's like, totally cool!” Totally… that’s a funny word. Blueblood thought, as he closed his eyes and opened his mouth as she instructed. Once he did, Tree Hugger placed the brownie in his mouth, and placed her hoof under his chin to make him close. “Now chew slowly. Let the chocolate melt in your mouth.” Blueblood rolled his eyes while they were closed, but still did as she told him to. As he chewed, the rich taste of chocolate started to overtake his mouth and he could not help but let out a groan of bliss. He had tasted chocolate imported from all across the world, but none had ever tasted as good as this brownie. He tried to control his chewing, but he wanted to scarf it down just so he could have another! It was so good! He chewed slowly though. It would be unsightly to say the least for a prince to act like a pig. He kept chewing till the brownie was nothing but mush in his mouth and swallowed. “There you go, Blue Dude. Just let the brownie seep into the hidden corners of your aura,” She said, looking down at him. “That… that was simply superb! I must have another,” Blueblood said, as he started to lean up. Before he could, Tree Hugger placed her hoof on his chest again. “Whoa, man you need to relax,” she said, as she picked up the plate and then plopped down next to him on the bean bag, picking up another brownie. “Here, just open up,” she said, holding out the brownie. Though as she did, Prince Blueblood felt his cheeks light up. She was laying right next to him, as intimate as one could be without touching, feeding him brownies on a first date! It was all so improper, and not like a prince should behave. “Now Miss Hugger this is—” He couldn't finish as she put another brownie in his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully, only now taking in the full flavor of the treat and becoming lost in it. His eyes widened slightly. “This is... this is delectable! You must tell me your secret ingredient!" "Huh? Oh, that's probably the grass." "Grass, eh? Never thought to put grass in a brownie, but I can not deny the result. What strain? Kentucky Blue? Agrostis? I've sampled grass from all over the world, and I've never tasted something so uniquely delicious." "Uh... sticky grass." "Sticky? Hmm, never heard of it. But anyway, another, if you would be so kind!" Tree Hugger just giggled this time, as she put another brownie in his mouth, before taking one for herself. “Righteous!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blueblood felt... funny. Not in a bad way, just in a... funny way. Heh, funny was a funny word, wasn’t it? Funnnnnnnnyyyyyy. The world around him seemed to roll and spin in a gentle, off-kilter rhythm. But he hardly noticed it, because his entire being was focused on something much more important and grand. His hoof. By Celestia, his hoof! He’d been staring at it for close to ten minutes, and yet he could scarcely wrap his head around it. Pfft. Wrapping my head around my hoof. He reached his foreleg up and pressed it to his head, hoping it would sink in, but alas, even with seven of those delicious brownies in his stomach, he just couldn’t manage. Instead, he broke out into laughter as his foreleg fell across his forehead. “See, Blue Dude?” Tree Hugger asked. “Doesn’t this just feel balanced? The spirit of the universe flows through us! You just needed a little jolt of bliss to see it” she said, smiling as she slowly chewed on her fourth brownie. “Miss... heh, misssss.” He cleared his throat. “Miss Hugger, I-I do believe I do understand the benefits of ‘chilling’.” And he did. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember a time he had been so relaxed. Granted, he couldn’t remember five minutes ago for some reason, but who cared? The Canterlot elite? Buck them, he thought, giggling at the carelessness of the thought as he reached for another brownie. Before he could reach, Tree Hugger pulled his hoof away. “I think you’ve had enough, dude.” “Nooooooo,” he pouted. “Miss, I... uh, I will have you know that I am a Prince!” He threw his other hoof into the air, starting with reddened eyes at the wall across from him. “While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to rule Equestria!” He gesticulated—Heh, another funny word—wildly as he spoke. He moved to get up, but instantly decided it was easier to simply sink further into the bean bag chair. He looked over to Tree Hugger, and realized that she was still holding his hoof. He looked at her, deep in her bleary eyes. In the time he had been there, something about her seemed to change. No longer was she some filthy peasant, so far beneath him. No, she was no peasant! To call her a princess seemed insulting now. A vision. An angel! A goddess! Something about her natural look, the way she did her mane, and that yellow bandana in her red mane was beyond beautiful, beyond words he could find. “Miss Hugger—” “Pssh, it's Tree Hugger man.” The way she psshed him made Blueblood laugh. He had no idea why he found it so funny, but he did. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but when he did he was met by those wonderful purple eyes that seemed to be an ocean that he wanted to get lost in. “Tree Hugger, I have a strong inclination to kiss you,” Blueblood said, his smile getting wider. Tree Hugger laughed as she scooted closer to him, their muzzles nearly touching. “Like, right on, Blue Dude.”