Who the Hell is THIS Guy?

Heya, folks! I'm Jake The Army Guy! I call myself that because my name is Jake, I served 13 years in the US Army, and... well, I think you can figure out the rest.

I'm currently a broke college student living off the government teat. I like to play drums, video games, and occasionally write about ponies. Ain't I interesting?

Flame Fuel(shamelessly ripped off from Bad_Seed_72):
Politics: Aggressively Centrist
Religion: Christian
Best Character: Spike
Best Pony: Applejack
Best filly: Babs Seed
Preferred Ships: MacDash, SoarinJack, SweetieSpike

I also do pre-reading/editing for people who I feel need it/ask me nicely. By all means, drop me a line if you want my advice, but I may be too busy.

Random Shite:
Favorite Movie: Ghostbusters
Favorite TV Shows: Doctor Who, Pony, The Amazing World of Gumball, Criminal Minds
Favorite Video Game: Resident Evil 4
Favorite Band: Metallica

Dec

25th

2023

December 24th, 2023 · 3:30am Dec 25th, 2023

Luke 2: 1-35

Report Jake The Army Guy · 215 views ·

EThe Big Talk
MLP: FiM
Romance
Comedy
A heavy conversation takes place on Sweet Apple Acres this Hearth's Warming... kind of.
Rainbow Dash
Applejack
Scootaloo
Big Mac
Granny Smith
Jake The Army Guy · 3.8k words · 59 5 · 1.1k views
EThe Enemy Within
MLP: FiM
Drama
Sad
How does one live knowing there's a monster inside of them?
Spike
Luna
Shining Armor
Main 6
Jake The Army Guy · 7.9k words · 269 4 · 4.9k views
EWhy Me, Though?
MLP: FiM
Romance
Slice of Life
Staying in Ponyville for Hearth's Warming, Gallus' pleasant misery is ruined in the best way.
Gallus
Sandbar
Jake The Army Guy · 1.5k words · 123 9 · 2.2k views
TMemories Returned
MLP: FiM
Drama
Sad
Not everypony has the luxury of Flying East
Death
Apple Bloom
Spike
Big Mac
Jake The Army Guy · 7.4k words · 99 2 · 1.3k views
EBest Left Unsaid
MLP: FiM
Slice of Life
Featherweight helps a friend see that it's not about what you can't do, but what you can.
Scootaloo
Pipsqueak
Featherweight
Bulk Biceps
Jake The Army Guy · 8k words · 80 0 · 1.3k views
TT.P.K.: Total Party Katastrophe
MLP: FiM
Dungeons and Dragons
Adventure
Comedy
A group of idiots gets zapped from the cursed land of Barovia to the magical land of Equestria. Please roll for initiative.
Violence
Crossover
Human
Spike
Main 6
Chrysalis
Tirek
Cozy Glow
Jake The Army Guy · 22k words · 62 2 · 1.6k views

Stories You Need To Read or You Fail At Life

Earth & Sky Sequel to Windfall, set three years after. Twilight & Rarity invent artificial wings! by Warren Hutch 264,681 words · 1,211 · 28
Our Gifts You know that feeling? You know, the feeling that you've forgotten something important? It is 10:32 p.m. on Hearth's Warming Eve, and Twilight just got that feeling... by The Descendant 12,194 words · 843 · 11
Innavedr A broken party of friends struggles to reunite. Rainbow Dash continues to fly east. by Imploding Colon 313,419 words · 1,174 · 44
It Takes a Village Spike only wants things to stay the same. Time, however, has other ideas. He's going to need help... by determamfidd 148,765 words · 3,632 · 66
The Griffon War: A Soldier's Memoirs The journal of a front line soldier in the Royal Guard. by Dusk Quill 81,246 words · 344 · 8

These are my favorite stories in the Fandom. Go read them. Especially The Griffon War. Dusk Quill is the single most criminally underrated author on this site.

Even MORE Stories You Need To Read!

A Few Bits Short The Mane Six find out what happens when you try to dine and dash by RazBro 26,932 words · 144 · 5
The Elements of Maternity There are many things that true friends should do together in a group. Delivering foals is not one of them. by Georg 7,949 words · 1,016 · 41
Hard Reset Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly. by Eakin 36,358 words · 8,262 · 136
Silent Ponyville Pinkie Pie goes to Twilight to end her horrible nightmares. by SamRose 30,459 words · 1,827 · 39

Read. Now. Especially A Few Bits Short.

My Stuff (if you care to read)

Under A Luminous Sky Twilight and an investigator from Canterlot must catch a killer by Jake The Army Guy 102,760 words · 594 · 28
Finding Your Place Spike is no longer the chubby baby dragon he was, and he no longer has to go through his hundred-year wyrm sleep. But as he and Twilight move back to Canterlot, Spike finds that his new larger body means the end of his old life. by Jake The Army Guy 78,455 words · 401 · 16
The Enemy Within How does one live knowing there's a monster inside of them? by Jake The Army Guy 7,892 words · 269 · 4
Best Left Unsaid Featherweight helps a friend see that it's not about what you can't do, but what you can. by Jake The Army Guy 8,002 words · 80 · 0
T.P.K.: Total Party Katastrophe A group of idiots gets zapped from the cursed land of Barovia to the magical land of Equestria. Please roll for initiative. by Jake The Army Guy 21,855 words · 62 · 2