• Member Since 14th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Sep 15th, 2016

SweeneyXoz


T

Set in an alternate version of the Ponyville we're familiar with, Cupcakes: The Musical blends elements of our favorite horror story with the musical fun of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Here's the story:
This musical tells the story of Pinkamena Diane Pie, alias Pinkie Pie, who returns to Ponyville after 15 years' exile to the Everfree Forest on false charges. When she learns from her former landlady Rarity that her best friend has died, due the actions of the friendship-hungry Judge Twilight Sparkle (who's bought the "loyalty" of Rainbow Dash), she vows revenge in the best ways she knows: through baking and singing!

Credit goes to Stephen Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler for the 1979 musical from which the music is drawn and Sergeant Sprinkles for the story from which this draws inspiration.

CAST (Original - New)
Sweeney Todd/Benjamin Barker - Pinkie Pie/Pinkamena Diane Pie
Mrs. Nellie Lovett - Rarity
Anthony Hope - Applejack
Johanna Barker - Fluttershy
Judge Turpin - Twilight Sparkle
Tobias Ragg - Spike
Beadle Bamford - Rainbow Dash
Lucy Barker - Ditzy Doo
Adolfo Pirelli - The Great and Powerful Trixie! :D
Ghost Soprano - Octavia
Ghost Alto - Cheerilee
Ghost Tenor - Doctor Whooves
Ghost Bass - Big Macintosh
Beggar Woman - Derpy Hooves

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 51 )

Amazing story/script. I enjoyed reading it very much!

Ohoho! I am by and large a fan of this dark play and I have to insist you keep going. I even sang most of the songs as best I could with the lyrics provided and stayed mostly on key, bravo.

I did notice I think you may have slipped calling Fluttershy Johanna during Twilight's part.

Dang. I figured I'd slip up somewhere along the line. :facehoof: Thanks a bunch, though, and I'm glad you guys are enjoying it! :twilightsmile:

I declare this is boring.:trollestia::fluttershbad:

:pinkiecrazy:

I lovethis so far seriously it's well written

Ooh, we're approaching the gooood bits. ;3
Keep it up, love it so far.

As much as I find Cupcakes spin offs or related stories to be pointless, I felt like reading this.

My thoughts: A decent concept, and much more plot than Cupcakes had, but I have a few problems with it.

1. The comedy feels awkward and out of place. It just doesn't seem to fit this setting at all. I could understand if it was black comedy, but the premise tries to be serious, then comedic at the same time. I feel that it doesn't know what genre it wants to be.

2. Rarity is horrendously out of character.

3. A lot of the songs feel... Meh... Like I can't feel the connection with them...

4. The substitution of romance for friendship just feels weak and thus creating a rather boring plot. I honestly can't even take it seriously, nor can I laugh at it. It goes back to the whole comedy thing, of how the comedy feels out of place, on top of that a lot of the jokes feel... Lame...

I could go on, but those are the basic problems I have. The concept is a decent idea...

finnaly, amazing story:pinkiehappy:

32406
I really do take criticism seriously and am glad to have the input. However, some of the problems you've listed fall out of step with what I'm going for.

1. Regarding the comedy and seriousness, it should feel awkward. This story has taken a musical well known for its tragedy and black comedy and had one of the most random beings in the universe slammed into it. The dark moments frequently conflict with Pinkie Pie's general cheerfulness and the result is a chaotic, musical, happy and sad mishmash with some semblance of a plot.

2. I was a bit surprised at this. Considering Twilight is a power-hungry mad-mare, Pinkie Pie is a vindictive, homicidal maniac, and Rainbow Dash is a brutish enforcer, I find it odd that you've singled out Rarity. Personally, I feel she's stayed truest to her character by generously caring for Pinkie and Spike, along with her thoughts occasionally becoming self-centered. But if she seems out of character, it may be because everypony is. This is an alternate Equestria and the ponies personalities have changed drastically as a result (hence the "alternate universe" tag)

3. The songs I can't do much about. They're written to the tune of the original music and have changed to go along with this story. They're certainly not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

4. There's a reason I included the "romance" tag. The mane six didn't fall in love with each other at first sight in the show and they aren't in this story. Romantic feelings are slowly developing between several of the characters and will be expanded upon as the story progresses, but friendship is the basis of the story. Twilight's failure to discover the magic of friendship is what's driven the other character's plots (Pinkie's banishment, etc.). If any reader knows Sweeney Todd, he or she can probably guess where love will spark, but I do have some surprises in store.

5. As for not being able to take it seriously nor laugh at it, it's not meant to be taken seriously at all. Sweeney Todd and Pinkie Pie are known for their randomness and this musical is something of a satire of the blending of dark elements with light-hearted stories (like Cupcakes did). It jumps from seriousness to lighter moments because that's much like Pinkie Pie's nature. (Although I do apologize for the jokes. They can be quite lame)

I'm glad to have both positive and negative input and I would especially like to thank you for bringing these concerns up. It looks like a lot of thought's been put into your criticisms and I will consider them as I continue writing.

32666

1. I don't think feeling awkward to the reader is something that should be shot for really. Surprising the reader is one thing, but throughout most of this I just have this awkward feeling of "I really don't know what to feel about this", especially walking in expecting some Sweeny Todd. I feel that Sweeny Todd is above all a tragedy. Pinkie Pie's cheerfulness is actually what kind of ruins it. She returns from banishment as happy as ever. On top of that, with the other characters so out of character, Pinkie Pie actually retains TOO MUCH of her original character. I am always relieved when it gets to a moment when she is forced to be serious because it gives me at least 1 moment where I'm not left feeling entirely awkward about the whole story, but then another character opens their mouth. I feel that although black comedy is a good path, this deviates too far from the "black" aspect of it, where it's trying to be regular comedy AND black comedy at the same time. There's really no way to describe it except for that fact that I'm given this strange feeling while reading it that I don't enjoy. The premise is a great idea, and the opening exposition is excellent. I was lead in believing this to be a nice dark rendition, but then Applejack and Pinkie appear on the docks (which I found strange since she was banished to the forest? Which I'm assuming the forest is farther from Ponyville in this universe as we know it's basically right on the edge of Ponyville) and all of a sudden it's comedic and light-hearted.

I feel as though a story should spark emotion from the reader, but this just makes me feel this awkward emotion that is indescribable with words.

2. A lot of the characters are slightly out of character, but I feel a lot of them are given REASON. Pinkie Pie is a given, with her predicament. Twilight clearly never found Friendship in this universe, so it's plausible just barely that she could turn that route. Dash is loyalty, so yeah, serving Twilight is plausible as well, and I'm sure after years of Twilight's dark demeanor it would rub off on her. Rarity feels as though there is no real reason for her character. All of a sudden in this universe she's the worst dress maker in Ponyville, and acts like a school girl with feeling for Pinkie (At least I can assume) which doesn't seem like her. She has poor self esteem and instead of being the sophisticated aristocrat that she is in the series, she's a poverty stricken, talentless plot device. I kind of feel that perhaps a bit more explanation to her would make her more believable.

3. You're not really REQUIRED to keep the songs to the original tune. This is your own interpretation, so you can go any route you want without keeping 100% to the original, which I discourage anyways. Never just cut and paste the source with the cross over. Though I can get past the songs.

4. I feel that (as it stands now) Pinkie's main "love" (which was Sweeny's wife, who is replaced by Ditzy, who is just her "friend") being replaced by a "friend" makes her story so much less powerful because we don't feel as much towards her. I actually kind of find Pinkie irritating and over the top with annoying gestures, which is saying something because her comedy style in the show is lovable and one of my favorites. I just feel her humor is... So... Trying to hard?

5. I don't know what Cupcakes you read, but there was no blending of a light-hearted story in Cupcakes. Cupcakes was a senseless gorefest for the readers enjoyment. It may fit into the black comedy genre in some aspects, but there is nothing to take away from that story except that the author wanted the reader to feel shocked. It hardly even accomplishes that really... You may be able to brand it as satire, but that would be a STRETCH. It would be more plausible to say that the author wrote it to troll the fanbase than anything else. I feel that this story is an unnatural jump between serious and not serious. It leaves the reader feeling a bit confused, and not really in an ideal way. I think if you want to go the comedic route you should just got black humor, but when you dance between both it just makes every joke seem that much more forced and unnatural.

I mean I have much more to say, but I feel that it would be better for us to discuss this further directly rather than comment relay. So I may contact you.

All and all, the premise, the concept, and the prologue is great, but the execution could use some work. I think it would be educational on both of our parts to discuss it more directly though.

Whew! Didn't think I'd be able to finish Act I in 4 parts. Well, here's to sleepless nights, I guess. In addition to Part IV, I made some minor dialogue changes and fixed some spelling mistakes in the previous parts. Enjoy the songs! (these ones were the toughest to write, by far)

:heart: You are amazing. :pinkiecrazy: + :raritywink: = :rainbowderp: + :trixieshiftleft: + :twilightoops: + everypony else

:derpyderp1:Oh, My.:pinkiecrazy: The parallel is irresistible :):raritywink:

Sweet Celestia! Over 3 weeks without an update. Well, to make up for the lost time, I updated several portions of the first act which include:
1.) Additional lines for "Not Quite Like Ponyville" and an extra verse for "Poor Dear"
2.) A huge expansion on "The Amazing Trixie's Magic Cupcake", including new verses and lines for the customers
3.) Adding an entirely new song, "Mea Culpa (Fluttershy Reprise)" for Twilight Sparkle
4.) Another new song, "Listen to Me" for Fluttershy and Applejack, and adding a verse to "Fillies and Their Sensitivities"
As for Act II: Part I, it's almost entirely in song form, so figuring that out was pretty difficult (best excuse I can think of. Hope it works!).

P.S. You'd better enjoy the heck out of "What a Fit". Writing it just about drove me crazy :twilightangry2:

Mwahahahaha. The end is almost here! :pinkiecrazy: Wait... it's almost over? :pinkiesad2: Oh, well. The finale should encompass two more parts (or perhaps one really big part). Thanks to everyone who's been commenting, tracking, and favouriting aaaannnndddd... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYPONY!!! :pinkiehappy:

you got yourself a new tracker you..... GENIOUS! you have captured ZE MAGICKS!:coolphoto:

Well, here it is. The bloody conclusion to Cupcakes: The Musical (well, not really). I thought for sure I'd need four full parts to finish the second act, but three seemed to work better. Following this will be a short epilogue in which a few ponies discuss the horrible turn of events. Once again, thanks to everyone who's commented, tracked, and favourited. Thanks to: cheezus12, DisQord, Eclipse, fieryShaman, hyourei, Kudzu Aura, MalikLucius, negativezero, Nimbus, Nobody115, notacamper, OmGeeFace, RachelCelest, Reaper1oo, Rudneve, Sorakirin, StormySkies, Stripey, The Cokegamer, The producer, THEFATMANXD, TwilightLover111, UM... Random brony? :coolphoto: , Wilhelm II, German Emperor, wolfgirl66, and Your Antagonist (VegaKS03). That's WAY more than I expected would enjoy it. Special thanks to Mist for his criticism, which turned out to be a HUGE help. After 2 months, 35 songs, and hours upon hours of re-reading Cupcakes and re-watching countless adaptations of Sweeney Todd, I'm all musiced out for now. I'd like to turn this "Pinkie Todd" story into an animated story someday, but that seems unlikely for now. In the meantime, enjoy the Finale and I bid you good-night. :duck:

Nothing against you, this is brilliant, but I can't read this, I'll give a 5 star for execution, but this is something that simply must be heard. If you decide to make and audio version of this fic like a dramatic reading deal or something akin I would be simply enthralled to give it a go. If you get around to anything like that please send me a message.

Photo Finish is Awestruck! :coolphoto: Photo Finish seal of approval added.

I only had one problum, and it's not that big of one, I could never ind the rythum for most of the songs. Very great version of Cupcakes :yay:

91980 Um, I looked at your comment, and thought.... "how did I help?" xD
Lovely end to such a macabre play and tale. Applause be necessary.

I love this....SO MUCH:pinkiehappy:
Sweeney Todd is bloody fantastic, and this just seems to sync perfectly.
I had always had this kind of thing in my head, but never had the guts to actually go ahead and write it!

You sir are a bloody wonder.:scootangel:
(see what I did there?).....:trixieshiftright:

Well, that's it. The finale! Now I will never ever ever ever write a Cupcakes fanfic again (it seemed like a good idea, since no one else has done a full Pinkie Todd musical). I may as well reply to the last few comments while my brain regroups and thinks of better musical ideas.

92338 I'd really like to make a fully-voiced version, though it may just be me, so I'll be happy to message you if I go with that. But then again...

:flutterrage: Attention any fans of this story who might be interested in voice acting for it! I've decided to start putting together a fully-voiced version of Cupcakes: The Musical. I'd really like to get a figure of how many would be interested, so if this idea intrigues you, please send me a message. I'm an okay singer, but the idea of putting better (especially female) voices to these roles would definitely sound better all-around! :flutterrage:

93271 :raritystarry: Rarity adores the Photo Finish seal of approval :coolphoto:

93963 I suppose it is tough to look at the lyrics and try and fit them to the music. It worked out in my head, but if I manage to come up with a fully-voiced version, it should sound very close.

112266 That's a good question. I suppose in a bout of half-awake sappiness, I took it upon myself to list the names of everyone who liked the story or something like that. I guess the best I can say is... you helped by liking the story? :twilightblush: :rainbowlaugh: Pansy! :facehoof:

160493 This comment was eminently practical, and yet appropriate!

So, yeah. Thanks all. I have two more musical ideas I'm fleshing out. Another parody and an original. I can haz voice actorz? :applecry:

163393 Well, I thank you for thanking me....? Eh, that makes sense, right?
shifty_eyes.gif

Oh my.... when I saw this update, I was like, "but didn't it end? It ended, right?!"
Then I read....
....and my blood curdled.
Revelations to you, author!

163393 Ohohoho! If you want a singing partner, I'm more than glad to embarrass myself via the net! If you get around to a fully voiced version send me any masculine as hell parts!

Found this just after seeing the musical, it's great!:pinkiecrazy:

Have you ever considered...ROCKY HORROR?:pinkiecrazy:
I've seen some failed attempts but i'm sure someone of your talent could do it right:pinkiehappy:
Just a suggestion...:twilightsheepish:

223898 Rocky Horror, eh? Hmm... I've been drawing up a list of other possible musicals to ponify, but Rocky Horror hadn't even crossed my mind. I am a failure as a writer. :raritydespair: But that sounds like an excellent idea! Some of the songs are already stringing together in my mind and I'll see about expanding on this a bit more. I'm a bit tied up with my other ideas at the moment but thanks for bringing this amazing musical to my attention

227399:scootangel:why thank you. When you get around to it maybe I could help a bit, maybe even co-write?:unsuresweetie: I've already got tons of ideas for this so, y'know it's up to you, but keep me posted! I'm a huge rhps fan:raritywink:

this is a adorable idea i love it so far

Love Sweeney Todd. :twilightsmile:

Ya surprised me with the cast choices, I mean Pinkie's I saw coming but Twilight's and Rainbow Dash's. :pinkiecrazy:

I'm thinking of making my own Sweeney Todd version.

This fanfic was enjoyable to say the least, Sweeney Todd was and is one my most favorite plays and movies. I liked how you used elements of the play version rather than the movie; not many people relate to the play version when they think of "Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street", most only know of the movie. (Even though I loved the movie just as much; Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are up there in my top 20 actors.) Not to mention you added some extra factors to the storyline and dialogue to keep the original feel of each character more or less.

Love it, not a great fan of the whole script idea, but thats just a minor thing. keep it up. :pinkiehappy:

My favorite movie and my favorite horror fic? :pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy: Hellz yea

:pinkiecrazy: I love Sweeney Todd. My roommate was out so I sang everything and I feel proud of myself :pinkiehappy:

:twilightoops: MY MIND!!! It's been F#$%^&!!!!! :pinkiesick: I think I ate a bit too much prince though. I feel sick to my stomach and have a sudden feeling of importance for nothing! And look, my tongue is blue. My, tose cupcakes were salty, like blood.

I think my mind exploded. Brilliance. Pure brilliance.

Grabs a knife and stabs it into the wall

The Fourth wall, I presume.

best ending so far
although ill bet the
end of the
story is better

I didn't really like the original story of Cupcakes, but I love how you twisted it up with Sweeney Todd with adjustments. It showed us a better reason for Pinkie Pie's hacksaw and I thought it was nice that Rarity was willing to betray Pinkie just to protect Spike from her.

:twilightblush: I was asked to read this on my yt channel---- Could you possibly tell me which chapter is supposed which track from the musical? I kinda fear I will have to sing it

I dare say, ok this musical version of the infamous "Cupcakes", was better then I thought at first. BUT even so am actually a fan of Grim/Dark stories I didn't really like this one. I was warned of Cupcakes by a friend, who actually got me into the fandom, and only really read this cause it was requested that I do so.

I still give you a thumbs up since, even so I might dislike Cupcakes, I still think that if anypony ever took the time to make an animated musical out of your Script, then it would be a nice animation and propably something I would watch.

If you'd like to see what I made out of it, check this:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHhCfjGyNGAXvJRXlhSKQ7PPcpcmM2sCF
(Videos will start going public on the 9th october....)

Oh my god this is just beautiful...never seen the movie Or the play but this is better and I love It!

i kind of was expecting the scene to change into a look of a stage and all the pony's would come out from behind the curtain and would take a bow for the acting. kind of like a stage play, you know?

I've only seen the 2008 version, but I can still hear the music.

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