//------------------------------// // On Your Marks, Get Set and... Sign Paperwork! // Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess // by Tired Old Man //------------------------------// Mayor Mare, Sweet chocolate ganache on a bavarian cream-filled cake, how many buildings did you approve for construction today?! Look, I get it. Ponyville’s definitely becoming a more popular place to live, tour, snap a selfie with a princess, what have you. Naturally, that also means the town should have many more recreational activities available, and so I’ve given no complaints in regards to the dance, art, and bungee jumping facilities… although I will admit that last one gave me pause for thought. I know there’s definitely plenty of thrill-seeking activities like whitewater rafting, parasailing and explosive stone launching (which has since been moved to a location that won’t endanger any neighboring villages, per the request of said endangered villages). So there’s plenty of entertainment around, which means that a great deal of these buildings should be new homes and small businesses. Therefore, I must ask this with absolute clarity: are you desperately trying to turn Ponyville into a city? Because that’s where you’re going with this if this continues, and to be completely frank I don’t think Ponyville should get a city status as things are. For a start, you’re still sitting next to an untamed Everfree where the deepest parts contain malicious creatures that will absolutely aggravate a sudden influx of new denizens. Before you know it, you’ll be signing paperwork for an electrified wire fence bordering that forest, which is NOT going to please the Animal Preservation Society one bit. Or your residential exotic botanist. And who are you going to put in charge of maintaining a fence that would tickle an Ursa Minor, let alone stop a Major? The point is, Mayor, that I strongly suggest you take your time and be very cautious about how many documents you’re signing off on. I don’t want you putting your name on anything you’ll regret backing like I have. I still curse myself into signing up for membership into the Royal Alicorn Clean Investments, Savings and Timeshares conglomerate--their business card is significantly less flattering than their goals. They also extend their services to non-alicorns under a similar name with ‘Pony’ being where ‘Clean’ is. Their membership cards need serious rethinking into their design. I’ve filed such a complaint with them regarding that (in fact, I’ve been doing so every month for almost a year now), but all I keep getting in response is, “We’ll look into it. Thank you for your concerns!” I hate them so much. Anyway, just try to be thorough with these papers. It always pays to know what you’re really putting your name on, alright? Friends Forever, Celestia Sunny, you seem energetic today. And what’s that card you’re waving around? O-Oh… you managed to join the Respected Average Pony Investments, Savings and Timeshares group? Well, judging by this card it’s way too late to cancel those documents, but… WHY did you ask for a whole box of them?! No no no these are NOT the same as a business card! This is almost the exact opposite of something that should be shared right now! Give me that box! I said give me the box! No one should have this many membership cards and-- Sunny. You teleported the box. Where did you teleport the box?