//------------------------------//
// Sparkle's Seven 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.





Dear Princess Luna,

I need your help to upstage my siblings, for once.

A younger sibling in need of assistance, 
Spike





Dear Spike,

Say no more.

Your understanding alicorn, 
Princess Luna





Dear Shining Armor,

Have you replaced the current patrol guards with the competent ones trained by Flash Magnus before the trail run? I would rather retire knowing that Equestria is in good hooves.

Your retiring solar monarch,
Princess Celestia





Dear Princess Celestia,

Not to worry. I've replaced the current incompetent guards with even more incompetent ones. Plus, I heard your sister even got Fluttershy's lazy brother to be a guard, as well. Equestria is in good hooves.

Your best captain of the guard,
Shining Armor





Dear Shining Armor,

Good... Wait... WHAT!?!

-Princess Celestia





Dear Twilight Sparkle,

What you need to do is try one of my featherbrained schemes. They are all guaranteed successes and will ensure you get revenge on those that wronged you!

Your Definitely Trustworthy and Scottish Duck,
Flintheart Glomgold





Dear Rarity,

You owe me big time.

That scumbag with a dick for a brain is so obnoxious! And if I hear Zephyr say one more time that I always fucking dress in style, I'm gonna murder him.

Your fed up friend,
Rainbow Dash





Dear Twilight Velvet and Night Light,

Guess who finally got the sibling supreme crown!

Your adopted son,
Spike





Dear Spike,

We don't fucking care.

-Twilight Velvet and Night Light





Dear Shining Armor,

Why geese!?!?

Do you not know how much birdshit the maids have to clean on a daily basis if this were to be the new and improved security system!?

At least tell us that you didn't get this idea from that ridiculous goose game.

Signed,
Raven Inkwell and Kibitz





Dear Raven Inkwell and Kibitz,

Okay. 

I didn't get this idea from that ridiculous goose game.

Signed,
Shining Armor





Dear Diary,

So, Luna thinks she can just sabotage this test run, does she?

Well I got a lotta little things I have planned on my bucket list on our coming sister vacation that I'm sure she'll enjoy.

Signed,
Princess Celestia





Dear Applejack,

Why is a picture of you overlooking a bunch of applebucking zebras on your farm making the rounds around town? Do you have any idea how many outraged idiots I have banging on my doors?

-Twilight





Dear Twilight,

Sweet Celestia, talk about out of context. Zecora wanted to know if I needed any extra help with applebucking this season, and I was as accommodating as I could be. Featherweight came by and wanted a picture of applebucking in action. So I guess the little shit wanted to stir up some outrage. You need to get the local media under control, Princess.

-AJ





Dear Applejack,

Oh, so NOW it's okay to bring the Foal Free Press into my propaganda machine when it's your reputation at stake?

Whatever. I guess as long as they're 'employees', and you're paying them, I have something to say to calm the unruly mob outside.

-Twilight





Twilight,

Wait, what? I'm not paying them.

Three apples a day and a burlap sack to sleep in. Even gave'em a place in the cellar to sleep. But you know, not the Racist Barn. If you recall, they're not allowed in there. Just ask Zecora, it's much better than where they came from. Speaking of where they came from, that's where they're going right back to when applebucking season is done.

But after looking at that  picture, guess I could talk to Rarity about modernizing Apple Chord's wardrobe too. The white suit might be a little too old fashioned.

-Applejack