Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
Dear Luna,
Come on Princess Luna, smile, smile, smile!
Fill their hearts up with moonlight, moonlight
Just don’t forget to smile, smile, smile
For these little fillies of Equestria!
Your friend,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Sister,
Didn’t you already know how hard my duties were, like, a long while back?
Yours Faithfully,
Princess Celestia
Dear Sister,
Why, yes. And if I recall, instead of doing my duties while I did yours, you went to the spa. So of course I’m still mad!
Yours faithfully,
Princess Luna
Dear Princess Twilight,
Tell your ex-student that the next time she switches our cutie marks, or anypony else’s, for that matter, she’ll be punished by mooning for a thousand years, with no chance of parole.
Your fellow princesses,
Princess Celestia and Luna
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
So I heard that you switch the princesses cutie marks? I am so utterly proud! How about next time we go and switch their mane styles? That’ll be so much fun!
Yours Chaotically,
Discord
After Twilight and Starlight had left for Ponyville, Princess Celestia and Luna were talking to one another.
“I’m glad that we settled things between us sister,” Princess Luna said to Celestia.
“Likewise, dear sister,” Princess Celestia replied. “Honestly, with all these duties we both have, we never get to spend quality time together.’
“Tis true,” Luna curtly replied. “It’ll be nice if we two sisters play some video games instead of all these royal duties.”
“Hmm… That gives me an idea.” Princess Celestia said mischievously.
“Sergeant?” Princess Celestia called out to a royal guard to their side.
“Yes, my Mistress?” answered the royal guard.
“Push all of my duties for today to Prince Blueblood, and if anything bad happens, pin the blame on him. Understood?”
“Yes, Mistress!” cried out the royal guard who saluted back before leaving.
“Looks like we get to spend quality time after all,” Princess Celestia finally said.
“Huzzah!” Princess Luna cried out in cheer.
“We could play Hello Neigh-bour, I heard the final version came out, or maybe we could play Breath of the Wild? Or how about Super Mario Odyssey? Or how about…” Luna mumbled on and on about various games to play.
“Oh Luna...” Celestia chuckled at her rambling sister. “Never change.”
Dear Twilight,
It didn't occur to us before Starlight's visit up to Canterlot, but when you really think about, this Friendship Map is a serious totalitarian invasion of privacy.
Are you really supposed to know every single time friends are arguing? What does it say about the friendships of Equestria when your friends are called to mediate?
Don't you think the friendships are stronger if problems are solved independently? They don't need you maresplaining every damn thing.
Sincerely,
Princesses Celestia and Luna
FOAL FREE PRESS
CANTERLOT SHUTDOWN FOR A SECOND TIME
Not too long after Princesses Celestia and Luna switched duties for a day, it seems a brand new argument is in full swing, and it has brought Canterlot's government to a standstill once again.
We can't really be sure what it's about this time. Celestia is chanting about "Making Equestria Great Again" and Luna seems to be overly concerned about "Dreamers."
Which is odd, because that's like, always been her job.
This country is weird.