Dear Short Fuse,
Since Hasbro has the bright idea of match making my older sister with a carbon copy of herself. I'd figure I introduce you to my other angry sister! I even have the bestest Couple’s Cupcakes for it!
Your soon-to-be fellow friendly family member,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Pinkie,
First off, keep your drugged up cupcakes to yourself. Secondly, leave the shipping to me.
Signed,
Princess Cadance
Dear Scootaloo,
Of course eavesdropping isn't weird, I do it all the time when I'm watching couples having sex from outside the bedroom window.
Sincerely,
Princess Molestia
Element Bearer Rainbow Dash Truly Loyal?
Since the creation of the School of Friendship, in the town of Ponyville, plenty of controversy has surrounded it. From the expected sexual allegations from the resident slut princess, to Chancellor Neighsay's continued disapproval of the schools existence with his racist xenophobia; the Friendship School has come under fire from its beginning school daze leading ponies to speculate an eventual school raze in the near future.
However, all previous incidents don't hold a candle to the current accusations against one educator in the school; Professor Rainbow Dash, on how can she teach loyalty to her students when she exhibits none of said trait.
Interviewing students, they explained that Professor Rainbow Dash teaches nothing but lessons on awesomeness, with the Professor explaining that it is an aspect of loyalty which, to put it bluntly, is utter bullshit.
This has led some to believe that she is not deserving of the element bestowed to her by the Tree of Harmony. Which is further justified by the recent event of Rainbow Dash abandoning a surrogate sister to do dangerous stunts meant for professionals.
When interviewed, Professor Rainbow Dash denied such accusations, citing that the blame should be passed to Lightning Cunt, as Rainbow puts it, since she was the one to encourage Scootaloo to partake in that dangerous stunt. When our interviewer mentioned how Rainbow also had once allowed Scootaloo to partake in a reckless stunt she pulled during her debut as a Wonderbolt, Rainbow quickly dismissed it saying that at least she didn't involve her in the whole stunt itself, unlike Miss Lightning Dust.
Meanwhile, Scootaloo; Head of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club and also the newest friendship tutor to the School of Friendship, claims that the fault is all on her. Scootaloo proceeded to talk about how her parents weren't around so she tends to make such irresponsible decisions. When asked where her closest relatives are, she mentioned her Aunts Holiday and Lofty. Scootaloo explained further during the incident, they were too busy having "private sessions" with one another and let Scootaloo do her own thing with the Washouts. Said aunts weren't around to elaborate on that fact, however.
Regardless of who's to blame, this event has sparked off ponies to further question Professor Rainbow Dash's legitimacy as previous incidents have also come to light with the case stacked against her piling up high. For instance, allowing elderly mares to go on a roller coaster ride despite the Professor Applejack's wishes against it and endangering a couple of students for a Best Teacher Award against a fellow teacher doesn't exactly scream “loyal”, does it?
Unfortunately, Professor Applejack wasn't around to comment further on either incident.
But these recent discoveries, coupled with said incident, has shed some doubt on the Professor's credibility. Hence, this coming week, all evidence gathered will be put to court against Professor Rainbow Dash, the event of the court hearing being dubbed "Turnabout Storm 2: Electric Boogaloo."
In retaliation to this, Headmistress Twilight Sparkle has prepared a spell to once again special summon a spiky haired ape from the human world to defend Professor Rainbow Dash.
In other news, the Leader of The Washouts is now injured after a stunt gone wrong. Currently in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinking through a straw!
Dear Scootaloo,
We regret to inform you that you've been kicked out of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club.
How dare you abandoned your honorary sister when she was just somepony watching over you
Sincerely,
Fellow Members of the Fan Club
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