Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
Canterlot Shutdown
The moon is stuck high in the sky, and yet it is eleven o'clock in the morning. Such is the most recognizable effect of the government shutdown in Canterlot.
After failing to reach an agreement on the budget for the next fiscal year, Princesses Celestia and Luna left the throne room just after midnight, and retired to their respective quarters. Much of the stalemate is due to Luna's new healthcare act, which would provide all of Equestria with access to affordable healthcare. Before slamming her door shut, Celestia was also heard mumbling something about refusing to dress up as a banana.
When asked to comment on the political debacle, Ponyville's Princess Twilight Sparkle offered the following:
"Ugh. Affordable healthcare act? Please. You want to know my version of affordable healthcare? Here you go. If you get sick and you're not a unicorn, go find one, and offer him or her a happy ending in return for a quick healing spell. Bam. Healthcare."
On the eve of a financial crisis, Celestia and Luna finally agreed to sign a temporary agreement that would allow them to continue taking our money, while not communicating, and continuing to ignore each other for approximately another four months.
What we at the Foal Free Press find most curious about this shutdown is even though they stopped doing their jobs, we are still paying the sun and moon taxes. Why the fuck were we still giving you money if you weren't using it for what it was supposed to be used for?
Up north, surprisingly unaffected by this, is Princes Cadance at the Crystal Empire.
"When the moon stopped moving I just cast my magical shield where everything looks normal again. I've got enough problems up here without those two dumbass sisters not getting along. You have to be very careful with power. Very, extremely careful. Just the other day, I saw a pair of ponies arguing in the streets, so I cast my love spell. Well, now I've got a case of incest on my hooves because another brother and sister are rutting each other. It's hard enough keeping Twilight away from my husband. All in all, some days, having Discord back in power sounds like a pretty favorable idea."