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// I'm Never Hosting Weddings Again, Part 1 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Shining Armor,

So, you came up to me today and asked to wed my darling Cadance. Just strode up to me in day court and proudly professed your love for her in front of an audience. The pregnant silence following your declaration came as you waited for my response, as did the rest of the nobles biting their hooves over the possibly lost prospect of marrying my treasured niece.

Boy, you got some balls that, for the past few years, I thought were missing. Never in my dreams did I foresee such a bold move on your part when I recall her first experience dating you described as talking to a wall with nerdy scribbles written on it. But putting me on the spot right there, something nopony had done for centuries... that took guts. Real guts.

I'll be honest; the only reason I said "no" right then and there was because I needed to confirm it with Cadance to see if it was really true. Although I already knew that--she sent me letters once a week that just would NOT shut up about how much she adores you--I needed to hear it from her lips, in person.

And do you know what she said? She couldn't bear to live another day without you. She genuinely loves you with all her heart, and believes you feel the same. She even foresees living the rest of her days with you in true happiness, peaceful days, and other sappy gobbledygook words of endearment that screamed at me how much she loves you.

Therefore, you have my permission to wed her. Not that you needed it--she's of age, and you could have a done a secret wedding at Cheapy Steeple over in Las Pegasus. But since you decided to be braver than that, oh proud Captain of my guard, I'll even host the wedding here. Oh, but it'll have to happen soon. Within three days, at least.

You've got some invitations to send, so you better get on that, but I'll just leave one last bit of advice:

If you break her heart, you and Brutus are going to have a Sticks and Stones competition. And he will break a bone.

Love,

Princess Celestia

...what is that noise? It sounds like a giant mosquito.

Luna, you hear that too? Good, then it's not just me and--okay, that noise is REALLY bugging me.

Shush, you know I didn't mean that pun. Anyway, get your fly swatter ready, Luna. We're stamping this thing out, because I do NOT want bugs ruining the wedding!