//------------------------------// // Moonlit Musings of a Midnight Monarch // Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess // by Tired Old Man //------------------------------// Dear Dream Diary, Tonight, a guest visited our castle. Tonight, we came so close to the power of controlling time itself. Tonight… we were foolish. Wait, why do I keep calling this tonight? There has NEVER been a day since my return! …or does that still make this tonight? Nevermind! That purple alicorn and her dragon pet escaped before we could learn the secret behind their time travel… but in doing so, they left behind a very crucial clue: that lone table sitting in the Everfree Forest. Whatever that pony did, that table is a piece of the puzzle. But my guards searched it thoroughly, and found nothing of significant use! Oh, they found drawers in six different spots around the edge that “looked like perfect snack compartments,” but what good are those?! When would we ever--oh, right. Moon pies. I should keep that in mind-- Ugh… Sister, we do not have time for you right now. We are busy cracking the mystery of the magic table! Keep it down up there! Back to the table. Since the guards found nothing significant to activate any latent time magic, even with a myriad of rudimentary spells to goad some reaction from the table only to earn no response, we must conclude that there is another piece to make it work. A magic scroll, or artifact perhaps, but we do not recall any such things for time travel existing before our dear sister sent us away. Did that pony invent it herself, then? Or… did that old fool of a court mage…? Well well, it seems we’ll have to visit Canterlot. What’s left of it, anyway--THAT is the TENTH stained-glass window you’ve broken in two hours, Celestia! Just because I threw one rock at you every night for a thousand years doesn’t mean you get to throw as many as you want in my eternal night! You’ll run out that way! ...Ahaha, she will run out of rocks to throw! What will you do THEN, sister?! Ahahahahahahahaha-OOF! ...I don’t think I’ve thrown a piece that large before. But forget the windows! She destroyed my room! My bed and carpet are ruined! RARITY! Fix this at once! ...What do you mean you only do tapestries and dresses? Did we hire you for sass?! ...Fine! We’ll see if that farm mare can fill in the hole in the floor and bed while you handle the carpet. You know, the one that looks like she grows citrus. Or pears, maybe. We do not care what she grows! Just get her here! You are dismissed. In the meantime, I have some other rubble to sort through-- What the? Is that… us? Does that mean we’ve found out how to travel through time?! Perfect! Tell us where it is, and we shall--um, no, the table is perfectly fine. Why do you ask? You dare insist that something will happen to it? In our kingdom?! Hah, the only thing that’s going to happen is us using it to travel through time! Now tell us where we can find-- Oh moon pudding, she’s gone! Oh well, we learned she found it, which means we can find it too! And what’s the worst that could happen to that table, anyway? My sister crushing it with more moon debris? What lunacy! She doesn’t even know where it is! Now, it’s finally time for my departure. We shall see who gets the last laugh, little purple alicorn! Ahahahahahahahahahaha-OW! That is NOT funny, sister! Do you have any idea how long it took Rarity to apply my mascara?!