//------------------------------//
// A Hearth's Warming Tail 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher





Dear Twilight,

If you give a fucking stupid book as a hearth's warming present one more time I'm calling Dragon Lord Ember to burn this whole Crystal Palace to the ground.

One hell of scrooge,
Spike





Dear Fax Machine,

If you didn't want your comic book just say so. And I thought of being nice this year. Have a dildo instead then so you can go fuck yourself!

Your mistress,
Twilight Sparkle





Dear Spike,

Breaking the 4th wall is our shtick. Don't push it.

-Pinkie Pie and Discord





Dear Starlight Glimmer Snowfall Frost,

You dare steal our shtick?

-Jack Skellington, Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch





Dear Starlight Glimmer Snowfall Frost,

You will be haunted by three ghosts of past, present and future to see the error of your ways.

Spookily,
Jacob Marley Professor Snape Flintheart




Dear Ghostbusters,

I have a job for you.

Annoyed,
Starlight Glimmer Snowfall Frost





Dear Snowfall Frost,

You mean the first ones, right? Because those new chicks fucking suck.

Sincerely,
D.A.





Dear Granny Pie,

Happy Hearth's Warming!!

How's haunting bad ponies as ghost of hearth's warming presents? I have a certain princess friend whom is in need of such a remedy.

Your granddaughter,
Pinkie Pie





"And that's a Hearth's  Warming Tail!" Twilight exclaimed, slamming the book closed.

"Wow that's was actually a non-sexual themed story you read to me..." Starlight muttered.

"What! You read finished the story without me!!!" Spike screamed, running inside with three cups of hot chocolate.

"Nobody cares about you at all, Fax Machine." Both Twilight and Starlight said in unison.

Spike proceeded to dump hot chocolate on both of them before running off.

"That's it, you're sleeping outside tonight!" Twilight screamed out.

"Well anyways," Twilight removed the hot chocolate off her coat with her magic. "So how about we celebrate Hearth's Warming with me giving you a Hearth's Warming present. Just follow me to my bedroom."

"I wish I could, Twilight, but I have to figure out how to use what Trixie got me for Hearth's Warming. I guess she wants me to look more like a magician for her shows, because she got me a magic wand of some kind."

"A wand? For a magician's assistant?"

"Yeah. It's a lot bigger than any wand I've seen. It says Hitachi on the box."

"Well, try it out on Derpy. She won't get off of the tree downstairs."





Dear Pinkie Pie,

Have you heard Twilight's impression of you? It's actually not bad.

Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer





Dear Starlight,

Yeah, I've heard it. Must be that special cider she makes whenever she reads "A Hearth's Warming Carol" aloud.

She always says Hearth's Warming isn't complete without a Dickens Cider.

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie





Dear Bronies,

Alright. I really can't figure it out.

Why are you all calling me GlimGlam?

-Starlight Glimmer