Belle
Rarity,
I’m fine. I really need you to understand that I’m OK. Don’t freak out. Don’t do that to me, please. Believe in me. Believe that I’m alright and will stay alright.
Things can get pretty awful, but Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and I are all fine. They’re writing letters, too. I’ll be sending one out to mom and dad, but please don’t show them this one. This is ours, OK? I don’t know if it’s wrong or not, but I told them that things aren’t so bad out here – that the papers have blown most things out of proportion and that we’re not in the Muck a lot.
That’s not true.
I just can’t tell them what I’ve done out here, or what I’ve really seen. I don’t know why I can tell you. It feels so strange to write about, but I need to. You can stop here, if you want, but I must write this. I’m sorry.
I hope you’re not still mad and have come to understand why I had to go with them.
I love you, sister, and will see you soon.
Love,
Sweetie Belle
--
Scootaloo was the first of us kill somepony. Apple Bloom did it just before I did. The anticipation was the hardest part, and the first kill is the hardest. After that it’s pretty easy.
I feel a little awful for writing that, but it’s the truth. You’ll probably read about a place called the Shimmering Valley in the paper.
We were there. I’ve killed many ponies, but know that they would have done it to me without hesitation. They would have killed you, too, and everypony with us.
This enemy has nothing in mind but the destruction of Equestria and everypony in it.
It’s a crusade, Rarity.
I saw it myself.
I saw it, and I can’t stop seeing it. They didn’t spare anypony in the town. They gutted Quarry and executed everypony in it.
Everypony was killed.
We had an enemy prisoner. Scootaloo personally got the information from him after she saw what happened. They believe that the princesses are abominations. They want to ‘cleanse’ the world of the alicorns and all of us who ‘worship’ them by allowing them to remain in control of the sun and moon.
That’s it. That’s their reason for the slaughter and the war. We can no longer hope that we’ll recover any of our ponies from enemy territory.
I wanted to hang on, but I can’t.
Not anymore.
I desperately wanted to continue to feel something when I killed, but now I crave the opposite.
…I hate them.
All of them, and I look forward to getting back into the Muck. I don’t think that I’ve ever truly hated anypony, but out here in the Northwest it looks to be a valuable asset.
If you’ve gotten this far – thank you. I’m still your little sister and love you with all my heart, Rarity. I hope you’re not called out here. More than anything, I hope that you can sit this out. I have no doubt you’d serve admirably, but I just want you to be safe. Funny how the tables turn, huh?
It’s hard to tell when I’ll get your letters if you, mom and dad write back, but I’ll see you all soon.
Have faith in me.
-Sweetie
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A haunting letter, from a haunted pony. Makes you wonder how family members feel when receiving letters like both here and in the real world. to see their loved one change so much through text alone.
Does Rarity know about Sweeties modifications? In her letter, it didn't look like she does.
A drumming echoed in the air as twelve machines thrashed ahead , In mass they landed and a lone purple drake came into view.
What in Lunas moon are those?
HUEYs from Government surplus in that other place beyond the mirror.
I like this. Instead of jumping right back into the action you just kinda eased us back in after you know all the extreme violence which though was extremely enjoyable a nice reprieve was a good idea.
The see you soon is intriguing. Though there's a good chance it's nowhere near literal, it would still be nifty to see the cmc take a brief visit to their families, and all the reactions that would surely happen there.
As I said though, probably not literal. Sounds more like a platitude, really.
When are we going to have Applejack meet Applebloom and see her upgrades?
Also, great character development! I love seeing stories affect and change characters.
It always seems to be the youngest among us, who while serving so admirably to save us, are cursed with the images and knowledge of the worst we can do to one another. No matter how well they hide it, these things they have witnessed will change them. I have served with them but have never seen the horrors some have experienced. While I can not know, I will forever stand with them and be here for them. And help them if I can.
Thank you for telling this. I hope it opens some eyes to the true nature of why we fight and why we served and still serve.
Olden Bronie (MSgt., USAF, Ret.)
i like it *insert generic witty comment of liking this story*
An interesting aside, and refreshing change of pace from Apple Bloom's point of view, while giving us a better picture of Sweetie Belle's mind set (and arguably the hardest to get a read on so far.)
Oh, and the tidbit about *why* they're under attack is interesting too...
A Crusade, hmmm? I just hope that Sweetie's letter doesn't make Rarity go charging off to reap righteous vengeance upon their enemies after reading this. She is a very passionate pony after all...
Maybe she can designs some snazzy dress uniforms for the victorious soldiers, though.
This letter kinda hurts on a personal level. I had to write on like this to my father during my deployment...
5313055 You are my new favorite person.
5313055 "It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it". ~Robert E. Lee
... War is a terrible thing, and far more souls are lost to it than merely those who are slain in combat.
It is a tragedy that scars the world for generations.
I don't care who you are, or how you feel about war in general; You damn well respect the men and women who went through it and managed to come out the other side physically in one piece, and you thank them for their sacrifice.
... I've never been in war, never seen it's horror with my own eyes. But my best friend's brother fought on the front lines. ... I don't ask him what happened, and he doesn't share with me. But I've at least seen how he shivers, sometimes, and I've noticed how haunted his eyes are.
So this story... it definitely cuts close to home.
Brilliant writing.
5312720 I always saw that as the "All nice and fuzzy" half of the letter. In that half, Sweetie will see Rarity soon. However, I think the other half is more of a "I'll survive to see you someday" type of deal, where by seeing Rarity's it is more of a promise to get home and get the family back together.
That's my opinion.
5313055 I was stationed at Balad for two tours and I may have not seen the horrors many of the "Ground Troops" experienced, but I got to see them and talk to them. Sitting by MRAP's and Humvee's outside DEFAC 1 & 2, tired, dirty, just wanting a hot meal and a shower. So many had been "Outside the wire" one to many times. At first I thought it was bad enough that we were taking indirect fire everyday, but to see the "Kids", grim faced, performing weapons checks, cleaning their gear even before they got the chance to clean themselves, was pretty sobering for me. I was old and had a frigging AARP card when I hit the deck in Iraq. Some of these kids were just out of high school. I had been deployed for Cold war exercises all over the world for over 20 years. Had some experience in Operation Southern Watch in Kuwait and Saudi. Had a bit of a grip on the situations in the A.O.R. through A.E.F. out of Qatar. Then came Iraq. These young ones, who may have been born after I already had over ten years of service behind me, impressed me with their determination to do the job they were given. But I will never get over seeing old eyes in young faces. (I too am a MSgt. Ret. USAF)
Damn good writing. This story and the comments on this have been an ice cold splash of reality on war...
Maybe I'll just be a Hotshot (Link for explanation/info) like my Mom wants (when I'm old enough, that is). Though either way, you've given me a good reason (an "experience", rather than just the word of everyone) to appreciate veterans. Thank you.
Y'all need to invest in Lich.
5313055
5313804
Thank you for your service. I hope one day to do our country proud as an officer in the United states Army, but for now I am glad to have people such as yourselves to look up to and aspire to be.
I had tears in my eyes when I read this.
And goosebumps over my whole body, I felt like Sweetie was sending this letter to me, while I sit in Ponyville, waiting for her return and an end of this war. So good it is written.
You're a master in storytelling.
So a religious war and a genocide.
That's the worst sort of war existing. Such fanatics are not to stop until they have what they want or got destroyed themselves.
In other words, every town that the enemy had gotten under his control was completely wiped of it's population.
Equestria is deeper in the shit than what it looked so far.
See you all soon. A sign of things to come? Is Ponyville in immediate danger?
Now I wonder why she signed this part differently than the first part.
Did she want to end this part on a happier note, with using the short form of her name after all the horrific things she wrote, perhaps?
And this line makes me worried for her well-being now, even more so than I was before. I hope she survives this. I hope all of them survive this.
Again, I commend you for writing this. I was dead-tired before I read that, because I was up the whole night to write something by myself, but now..... Now I'm wide awake suddenly.
I'm wide awake, clench my teeth and bite my lips.
War. War never changes.
Since the dawn of pony kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing power of rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything: from God to justice to simple, psychotic rage.
This more or less applies to this story, in my opinion.
5313716
The stalions rejected the upgrades, couldn't control them, the mares could. Thats what i heard.
5312526 She does not.
5313055 5313337 5313804 Thank you for your service. If you ever feel as though I've crossed a line or at all bring dishonor to you, just say the word and this sucker gets canned. You all deserve better than some civvie trying to write about ponies in war when he's never experienced it for himself. You'll never see me put ponies in genuine military dress or wearing a real patch, that's for sure. One of my objectives here is to show that war is not fun or without consequence as the movies and video games would have us believe.
5313716 Mares were much more receptive than males to the augmentations. We're not really sure why, but stallions could seldom move the legs in test runs. They didn't have their own legs removed, just hooked up with those sticky-circle-wires. :P
I really should put it in somewhere. Perhaps the prologue?
War...war never changes.
5315215
Oh ho ho this is going to be amazing when Rarity sees those upgrades...
Also, it would fit in well with the prologue, but thats already been written so it might be confusing. Maybe a curious (and sexist) stalion asks twilight? Causes some hate, like what we see about atomic technology today, Or the spartan program from halo?
Huh, I live in the northwest (America).
5315215 Hi. Not sure if I did this correctly but if not please feel free to provide me with some guidance!
NC, you are doing a superb job writing this story so please don't feel that any of us 'old guys' (me especially) are judging you. Thank you for the thanks, as well. It was and still is my privilege to serve. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. I don't know if you read any other Fimfiction, but may I suggest taking a look at Not So Subtle and his work 'Valor is Magic'? I've been following his story as well and feel you would enjoy it.
By the way, Thank you, guys ( Old Plug and Daemon Spectre) for sharing your experience's with me and all who have read them. You both have my thanks. Wish I could have been with you. Also, Lee was correct, JBlade 23, and I wish more leaders would think on that statement. It's sometimes too easy to send young men and women into harm's way.
This is spectacular. You really capture the emotion in your writing.
Since this was about 600 words, I hope to see another update soon ;)
This is what, my tenth time reading it? I still get a chill down my spine when Apple Bloom shoots the colt, was definitely one of the most emotional parts for me.
Ten times read, the boring level hasn't even hit 1 percent...
...or, any percent...
...at all.
5323403
I'm in a similar state, though not having re-read it quite so many times if only because of the stack sitting in my "Read Later" bin.
And I agree about that scene giving me chills. The only one that tops it is when Luna gives her speech over the victorious dead...
5323462
That scene was glorious, wasn't it?
How many stories you reading at the moment? I got 19 in my read later (I made sure this one was on top), but 2 are completed and im to lazy to move them to a bookshelf instead.
5323862
It is indeed... I've rarely read a scene that's had the same impact on me before. Sure, there have been some stories where I've been drawn in emotionally, but this is one of my top two (and I can't figure out which is "first"). The other being the last scene of Que Sara, Sara (which had my hands quite literally itching for an entire day after I'd read it before I started typing my own version of an epilogue... which will likely never see the light of day).
And I have 31 stories in my read later bin. Some of them are one-shots while others are sequels, though. On the other hoof, I'm a bit of a compulsive fanfic reader while at the same time being somewhat new to both Bronydom and FIMFiction though, so I suppose it's to be expected... I did the same thing when I first discovered FF.net after all.
5323907
I have to say, this story is number 1 for me. It definatly doesn't get as much as it diserves in terms of fans, and im saying this from reading uncompleted stories (most of which I read on one of my other profiles from a while ago and sometimes without one) in the hundreds of thousands of views and likes ranging from 500 to 2000 likes when it was 6 chapters in. Truith be told, I have been a critique on many of those stories, insulting and complementing, but there has never been a story till Night Mares by NCMares I have been so hesitant to insult, simply because I can't find anything bad about it to say (other than the fact I read at the spead of a rocket unless i force myself to slow down, which caused my first accadental critique on this fanfic).
And that, is truily amazing.
5323942
My inability to pick one over the other stems more from liking them both equally, but for different reasons. It's nothing to do with some "flaw" or some such, and more to do with they each left me with an equally profound emotional impact.
I'm not about to analyze anything too deeply on this level. Discussion on story mechanics and plot consistency? Sure! I'll sink my teeth into that. (Over)Analyzing plot-holes to help an author fill them in before they become large enough to drive a Death Star through? I'm game.
Emotions and the opinions attached to them, though? No... I'm socially awkward enough thank you...
5324000
I seem to be in luck then, im told im a good emotional counciler.
This was awesome, I've been waiting on this update. I have to say it's not at all what I had expected, I do love the change of pace and the new point of view.
Though it was short, it was great and really "wet my appetite." This has got to one of my favorite stories so far. Great job and thank you for the awesome read.
Brilliant story! Writing is professional quality as well! I really do like what your doing here, reminds me of Saving Private Ryan.
The recent battle we witnessed was the pony equivalent of WWI, with trench warfare and obsolete tactics. I wonder... will youn dabble in other forms of warfare? I see much potential in events like the battle of Stalingrad or the Pacific naval campaign against the Japanese.
Blimey! I do hope the CMC make it out of this intact. NCMares: *cough*
5324173
They already have, the trenches were just a defensive line so they wouldn't break into the city, and they did. So city street fighting has taken its place now. Not to mention the tanks and the battles in the forest were Night Mare squads take out radios. Spec ops strikes I think that tactic is called. From what I have seen it turn into since the prologue, it looks like a combination of ww2 and the vietnam war, with a dab here and there of ww1.
5323403 Huh. Time to go back and reread that scene then.
Damn, this is some deep shit. I was worried when I saw the chapter was little over 500 words, but damn. You wrote a good 500 words.
Man o' Shevits I love this fic. Keep at it, good author!
Just a thought, this was an interesting change of pace. It was short, but haunting. I suggest you should keep this sort of chapters, like letters, as intermissions. For instance, after this Sweetie Belle letter, you should post a solid chapter next. Then, Apple Bloom's or Scootaloo's letter. Of course you're the author and I have no doubt you'll keep 'wowing' us no matter what you do, but it was just a suggestion to keep this sort of changes captivating :)
5313055 Thank you for serving our country, sir. I hope to follow in your footsteps one day...
Holy moly this is getting INTENSE! I love it!
Nicely done!
Eh, this chapter (Belle) is about as far as I can go. With the OPFOR motives laid out, it's all but impossible to find any sympathy for our designated heroes.
The Union is so far in the right, it's hard to conceive of them being the "bad guys". Their cause is just and their means are well within acceptable limits.
Apple Bloom is clearly not sane enough for infantry, let alone Specwar. The second someone besides a pilot or a tank crew starts marking kills, they should be discharged for psych.
Unless the following chapters involve the collapse of Equestria, the removal of monarchy from the continent and various suffering for the CMC, I can't see this being anything but a downer ending.
I will note, however, that the writing quality itself is pretty good and conveys the scenes very well.
If anything the CMC are victims here, not of the horrors of war, but of the mad science of Twilight and Celestia being, well, their leader. Equestria doesn't seem to need these unlikely heroes, rather it needs a people's revolution to stop the bloodshed.
I certain will not be downvoting, as it is well done, just as the the villain's perspective.
I do love your art regardless of the fiction itself.
5671534 I'm not one to jump into the lions mouth without major cause but i have to ask, why would "Religious Genocide" be considered as a rightous manuver? And also, pilots mark aircraft that they down as kills as do Tankers with other tanks killed and Sub Mariners with ships sunk, its a matter of pride and a common pratice that has gone back since the Civil war and maybe the time of archers and swords. So that said, why would they be discharged for a common Military Pratice?
Now we're talking. Motivations!
So, they view the Princesses as abominations of nature that must be killed. Kinda dumb, considering they're running the day/night cycles, but, well, look at ISIS. Fanatics tend not to be a terribly rational bunch.
I'd also ask what they've been doing for the past millennium or so, but considering the tech level they've demonstrated I'm pretty sure that's what they've been doing. And it probably would've worked, too, had Twilight not been around, what with her genius-level intellect, penchant for magical innovation, and communications line with what's basically a version of modern Earth to mine ideas from.
I still want to see these guys fleshed out more (For instance, I've got a sinking feeling this "Union" has more in common with North Korea than is healthy), but as of now I have no real complaints with this story. Good job!
5676220
He said someone besides pilots and tank operators, idk about infantry.
Anyone can be convinced to do anything with the right scenario. Just look at Hitler, he convinced the Germans that everyone else was sub-human.
I'm going to do a reading between the lines here. Hitler came into power because he convinced the desperate Germans that he would bring Germany back to its glory, and that Jews were sub-human. He then proceeded to steal the Jews money as he sent them to C-Camp and rebuild Germany to superpower levels.
Now, since the ponies of the Union are so determined to conquer Equestria, and for such a dumb logic reason, I conclude that a ponified version of Hitler/Hitler Equivalent has riled them up to war. And they're fighting dirty. Perhaps the Speaker/Leader/HitlerPony has convinced them that Equestrians are zealots or some kind of debased thing that blindly serves the Princessess. And only allow true followers to execute civilians so cruelly, at least that's what they did in Nazi Germany. The average German soldier wasn't a die hard Nazi who would kill every Jew he saw, he just followed the orders of the officers who WOULD.
5323862
Hundreds
Huh. Godkillers, eh?
Not gonna lie, was expecting a more original motivation.
6334054 Having not read past this chapter yet, let me just say that at this moment in the story the focus isn't on the identity of the enemy, it's about the protagonists and their struggle. I believe in time we may learn more about these guys but for the moment it's not really the point.