Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Okay, we said nice things about you to help your reputation. Can you let us out now?
Sincerely, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
Dear Rainbow and Pinkie Pie:
First off, that's Princess Twilight Sparkle. Second, let you go? Are you kidding me? We still have several study sessions to go! Of course, you ponies probably know exactly what I mean by “study sessions,” right?
Love, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Rainbow Dash:
Since you're my big sister, you should be helping me break out of juvy right now. I mean, can't you at least send me a cake?
I mean, the food's not that bad, but it's getting kind of lonely here. And some of the ponies creep me out.
Your favorite little sister, Scootaloo.
Dear Scootaloo:
First off, I'm doing everything that big sisters are supposed to do. Just ask Princess Celestia. She'll be able to tell you how she treats Luna in the most sisterly way possible.
And second, even if I wanted to help, I'm currently trapped in Twilight's dungeon of fun. And by “fun” I mean she's trying to rape us.
Your loyal big sister, Rainbow Dash.
P.S.: Don't drop the soap.