Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?
Dear Princess Angst,
Alright, so you're feeling guilty? About what happened one thousand years ago? Seriously?
Alright, history books are a little foggy on the issue, but I can't imagine Celestia waiting too long before confronting you about not lowering the moon. Plus, the vision I had during the Everfree Invasion proves that when she did confront you, your coup lasted just about two minutes.
Last I checked, the crops were okay, no one starved, and no one died. I really don't know what you mean by the "suffering" you caused. It was just a little sibling rivalry that could have destroyed a nation, but didn't. Not that big of a deal.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Luna,
Hey, glad you're feeling better. We would just like to check on one thing; you're the only one whose feelings can erupt out of the dream world, right? The last thing we need is Twilight's lust to physically manifest itself and rape every living thing in town.
Sincerely,
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity
Dear Princess Celestia,
Since we have royal representation for daytime, nighttime, sex, and friendship, I think it's time we form the Royal Farming Division.
I can come up with a shortlist of candidates to oversee said division.
Sincerely,
Big Macintosh
Dear Lyra and Bon Bon,
So, when you combine to form LyraBon, which one eats, and which one shits?
Or are your asses joined together somewhere to become the ultimate fertilizing machine?
-Twilight