Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man


Logs of a Starship Captain

Log Entry 001

Captain Luna… I still need to adjust to that name. It’s still all too easy for me to react to others calling me Princess Luna, too soon to escape the old title just yet. After all, I can hardly call myself a princess of a desolate wasteland, especially one we can no longer thrive in.

The starship still holds firm--Moon Dancer’s paranoia of even the smallest breach in the hull has easily kept the ship safe. As it should--this was her idea, scaled to a size beyond even her imagination. She’s done herself proud with this accomplishment--I can only hope it doesn’t get to her head that her ship is infallible… unsinkable.

Yet we had not named it. Oh, we’ve called it many things during its planning and construction: Big Boat, Enterprise, Voyager, and even Equinox came to pass, but none of them had really stuck. Not that we had the time to think of a name. With the Tree of Harmony dead and withered, time was against us as the land weathered and wore away before our very eyes.

Fortunately we’d succeeded, and once more we repeated a history lesson of old: if the land has forsaken us, we must seek a new land to prosper in. I have faith we will find such a place that might accept us, as does my sister. ‘Tis this hope that drives us forward now, into the sea of stars and worlds unknown.

However, others aboard the ship do not share our admittedly idealistic goal. Some believe we’ll simply live on the ship for the rest of our days, and in a sense we can do that. It’s not ideal, however--this ship was designed for travel and temporary residence, and I would rather not have it be permanent if possible. We’d have to get out the tin of straws, and nopony likes drawing straws.

Yet others think we’re wandering aimlessly in an iron coffin. I can’t fault them for thinking that way about the current situation, but at the same time, I wish to prove them wrong. Already we have a few prospective planets derived from the star charters--the purple one in particular shows great promise in this field--and with the course set, all we can do is wait and see what we’ll find out there.

If nothing else, the children still smile, believing we will find greener pastures to settle in. They dream of playing in flowery fields and clear blue skies once more, and swimming in lakes like the days of old.

I shall see to it that they won’t need to dream to do that.

Captain Luna, signing off.

Yes, come in. And what is your name, little one?

Pipsqueak, is it? Well, you are most welcome for staying on this ship, and I thank you personally for keeping thy spirits high.

Hm? A name for the ship? Well, it is true we haven’t come up with one yet, but I’m open to suggestions.

Hayfarer? Haha, clever. We are all wandering travelers now… this might stick after all.

...Say, would you like a promotion? How does Pipsqueak, Chief Ensign of Cookies sound?

Perfect! Now, Chief Ensign of Cookies, are you ready for your first order? Please report to Officer Pinkie Pie in the kitchen. I do believe it's a good time for you to share your promotion with the other children, wouldn’t you say?