//------------------------------// // Marks For Effort // Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by milesprower06 //------------------------------// Dear Cheerilee, Sorry but we're dropping out of your school. Any student will agree that school sucks. Yet, Princess Twilight's school is miraculously the exception. Our only concern there is that Pinkie serves her special cupcakes to students. But who wouldn't go to a school that doesn't follow EEA standards? As expected, however, Twilight acted like a bitch and wouldn't let us in. We tried convincing our sisters/honorary sister otherwise, but they didn't want us near that purple menace. Our second plan of fooling Fluttershy and Pinkie didn't work either. Opportunity was at hoof, however, when we meet this crying young filly named Cozy Glow. Third time’s the charm, I guess. This was probably our only ticket in. Well, besides breaking and entering. We already tried that. Twilight sure knows how to set up bear traps and throw tomatoes... This plan is guaranteed to succeed! Hopefully with it not ending with us covered in tree sap. We have to say that Cozy Glow was quite the fast learner in her friendship homework. You could practically see the starites popping out of each pony she helped. Now that she aced her assignments, she could now pass her friendship examination. And perhaps she could help convince a certain headmistress to let us go to her school??? Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge. But what does she get instead? A big fat F! We thought this was a good grade. You know, F is for friends who do stuff together. Unfortunately, it meant she failed. Princess Twilight was furious and banned us from her school. We thought all was lost until Cozy confessed that she purposely failed the test to let us in. We figure she needs to listen to some more Applejack's lectures on honesty. In the end, we became enrolled into the school as tutors to all the students there. We reckon Twilight only wanted more free labor, but the heck do we care? We don't need to study no more! Your new school dropouts, CMC To Headmistress Twilight, Did you have to steal three of my most promising students? If you think that your school can do whatever it wants because it doesn't follow EEA standards, then you have another think coming. The least you could do is hire me, as well. Your fellow educator, Cheerilee Dear Cheerilee, The EEA standards have nothing to do with me doing whatever I want. It has more to do with being a motherfucking Princess. So you want a job, eh? Well, that’s some fine chalk handling you do with your mouth. Care to give me a private demonstration? Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle Dear Vacuum Cleaner, Stop flaunting your wing boner at the students. Your master, Headmistress Twilight Dear Twilight, We could easily say the same to you. Sincerely, The Whole Damn School Dear Cozy Glow, I like your deviousness. How would you like to be my new apprentice? Your guidance counselor, Starlight Glimmer To the School Counselor, Buzz off. She's my student. Stick to counselling. You get to do almost nothing. Who doesn't want that? Your Headmistress, Twilight Sparkle Dear Cozy Glow, Now listen here, missy. Just because I'm reformed and all, doesn't mean I want other ponies messing with those ex-blank flanks. Got it? Yours truly, Diamond Tiara "Seriously? Is that a book or a foot stool?" Scootaloo joked, looking at the large rule book by the E.E.A. "I mean, look at this! It's just ridiculous!" Scootaloo continued. "Yeah. Rule number twenty-one seems rather specific," Sweetie Belle commented. "And we don't need rule twenty-four with Twilight around," Apple Bloom pointed out. All the CMC shivered at that thought. "Well, I'm glad that we don't have to deal with those rules no more," Apple Bloom muttered. "Agreed." Sweetie Belle said, using her magic to toss the heavy rulebook into the trash can. DA SKOOL RULES (E.E.A Approved) The proper rules and requirements for any school to meet the standards of the E.E.A. 21) Chemistry equipment is for scientific purposes only. Not to be worn over your head. 22) Magic school bus learning journeys are reserved for unicorns only. 23) Singing of the Equestrian Anthem is to be conducted every school morning. (Not to be sung by dragons.) 24) The Birds and the Bees will be taught at the appropriate time for the young foals and colts. (I'm looking at you, Princess Cadence!!) 25) For students who want to do well in school, please refer to the school survival guide (results may vary). 26) Any colt continuing with their misbehavior, despite repeated warnings, shall be drafted to military school. 27) All biology classes must have lessons involving the dissection of frogs. 28) No food fights in the cafeteria. 29) Do not disturb the janitor unless you want to be stabbed by the blunt end of his broomstick. 30) For mathematics lessons, students must finish at least seven notebook assignments, and if any are answered incorrectly, they shall face the blunt slap of a ruler. -Page 3- To Tirek, Mission accomplished. I'm in. Your villain in arms, Cozy Glow