Dear Mayor,
I’m rather surprised hearing that the derby races in Ponyville started up again after a three year hiatus. I didn’t think a yearly tradition as fun and exciting as racing applewood carts would have ceased in the first place—I assumed it was still running like clockwork, since you hadn’t mentioned it stopping even once over such a lengthy span of time.
But I do understand the reasons behind shutting it down for a while. Because really now, the racetrack’s design basically encourages crashing given that it crosses over a single point three times in the circuit! Who thought this was a brilliant idea for a racetrack children are driving on?!
That was fixed after this last race, correct? Please tell me that was fixed. It’s not difficult to arrange for a bridge and tunnel to be built at that point, if not outright redesign the track so it isn’t a twisted pretzel.
Actually, why build it so that it cuts through and around the middle of the town? I know how fast these carts can go, and very much doubt a few scattered single layers of hay bales will do anything to stop the speedy ones. Do you have that much faith they won’t crash into somepony’s house on a hairpin turn? Because I don’t.
Hey, Sunny! Are you sure the straps are supposed to be this tight?
That’s better. Now I can feel my hind legs again.
Ahem. However, I’m not sure the issue is just the racetrack here. You mentioned that Rainbow Dash, Applesmack and Rarity all exhibited childish, self-serving behavior during the race. I can understand Rainbow Dash behaving like that—that’s not even a question in my mind at this point. And frankly, Snapplejack is so deeply rooted in traditional nonsense (moreso than Granny, shockingly) I’d be stunned if she had opened her mind to new ideas from her little sister from the outset.
But Rarity? Rarity?? I earnestly believed despite her faults that she was the most mature pony of the group. How petty was she to outshine her little sister for a first place creativity ribbon? Does she not own boutiques in three different locations across Equestria, each one wildly successful in its own right? Is that not enough “winning” for her?
Haaaaaaaanghhh… well, it seems that mature title now belongs to Fluttershy, at least until she has the next immature incident of the week. If I have to pass the title onto Pinkie Pie of all ponies…
No, I’d rather see it go to Glimmer first. Or anypony but Pinkie, really. I’d even give it to Discord—at least he knows where the boundaries of acceptable behavior are. Usually.
Anyway, I’m about to be quite occupied soon, so I must cut this reply short. I’ll come by in a few days to hang out—I can’t wait to hear Granny’s thoughts about her granddaughter after this incident. I can hear it now: “She’s the reason Ah sleep in on the weekends.”
See you soon,
Princess Celestia
Alright, helmet’s on. Luna, you and Moony all set for the first trial run?
Yes, we absolutely had to start this at the top of the mountain. Cloudsdale has an entire racetrack made of clouds and loop-de-loops! Should we not make ours just as thrilling?
Of course this isn’t safe yet! That’s why we’re testing it to make sure nopony goes careening off the mountainside when this course is finished. I am nothing if not thorough about this endeavor, sister. Now put your helmet on so we can get started!