//------------------------------//
// Three's A Crowd 
// Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by keaton-furman-prower 
//------------------------------//

Original chapter here.





Dear Princess Twiley Cyrus:

What a day to be ill. I was hoping I could get Fluttershy to dress up in a sexy nurse outfit while she took care of me, but alas, she had her thing with the breezies. I doubt it's anything important, but she seems to care about it a lot more than me, because she went before she could even check to see if I needed anything!

Of course, she's not the only sexy mare in the world. Celestia is pretty hot too. But alas, she didn't want to wear any outfits. And then, to add insult and injury to illness, she bucked me out of the castle and sent me flying into Ponyville. She probably owes them a new tree, by the way.

Anyway, I passed your sister in law's train, by the way. I must say, she sure knows how to travel in style. Seriously, why haven't you got one of those babies? And the guards she travels with are certainly quite handsome. I bet you'd like to meet a few of them, no?

But back to Ponyville. I arrived in terrible health, and nopony wanted to take care of me. I mean, they probably wanted to take care of me, but not be my nurse ponies. Rain-blows flew off, Applesack and Charity got infected with my disease, and Pinkie went off to chase some balloon. Who was I supposed to turn to now?

As luck would have had it, I remembered that Cadance Notevil Goodpony had come to Ponyville for Swirlcon 2014. I know it probably sucked to miss out on some of those events, but look on the bright side: you got to spend time with me, and got to hear my absolutely beautiful singing voice!

...Did you really have to put me in your bed, though? I have heard of horrible things that happen there.

Anyway, I decided to see if you truly considered me a friend. And the best way to do this, of course, is to make your life a living hell. And since Princess Pinkie was using that health bubble of hers to prevent you from getting sick, I decided the only way to do so was to make the two of you go on an epic quest to find something that could cure me.

What I hadn't been expecting, however, was a rape-worm to come out of the ground. It's a shame we didn't get to see more happening, though; do you have any idea how much I could have made off a double-princess porno? Ah well, at least I got to see that you actually do care about me, even after it turned out I was never really sick to begin with!

And then the rape-worm had to sneeze on me. Is it seriously too much to ask to make that health bubble cover me too? I guess you disapprove of Luna's new health care laws.

Finally, please don't be disappointed by your necklace. I know it may have been a bit cheesy, but I made it for you to demonstrate our great friendship. Of course, if that one disappointed you, I promise that the next necklace I give you will be much more special.

Your very favorite patient, Discord

P.S.: Could you please fetch me a tiny glass of water?





Dear Twilight:

So, Flash just left you without saying a word? Bet you wish you were a member of the Apple family so you could get into Big Mac's bed right now, don't you?

Sincerely, Pinkie Pie.





Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Flash Sentry went to Ponyville?! Didn't I write a royal decree forbidding that guy from coming within 10 miles of you?!

...Oh well. I guess I just got myself a new sex toy!

Your waifu-stealing fellow princess, Celestia.