Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Applejack and Fluttershy letters by Yinhuman
Bats! (Addendum)
Dear Diary,
So, it seems that for the second year in a row, Big Mac is unable to help with Applebucking Season. His excuse this time? Going with Granny Smith to check out their competition in the contest they've entered. Apparently, the winner gets a starring role on that new reality show, Buck Dynasty.
Anyway, to that I say, horseshit. More like Big Mac had a chiropractor appointment because he threw his back out boning that damn school teacher. I refuse to believe that this contest is so fucking important that Big Mac and Granny Smith think it's okay to leave Applejack to tend the farm alone during harvesting time. Because, you know, that worked so well last time.
But she barely even got started before discovering that the apples were rotten and dry, the culprits being vampire bats. Apples aren't the only victim; I hear vampires can make books pretty rotten and dry too. So Applejack wants to get rid of the bats, as is her right on her property, but Fluttershy wants AJ to pursue a more peaceful solution. Since AJ's part of the song was better, we all side with her. Mob mentality and all.
So with a little research, I decide to use a spell to force the vampire bats to stop eating all the apples, because once again, forcing animals to break from their natural habits worked so well last time. Turns out we accidentally turned Fluttershy into a vampire. Or is that a vampony? Eh, who the fuck cares. I finally have a legitimate excuse to drive a stake through one of my friends! Whoo! Wait, what? Oh, sure, now Applejack wants her friend back. She can be all merciless to the bats, but when it comes to the pony who wants to sacrifice part of her orchard? Nope!
So after forgetting every immobilization spell I knew, we simply stun Fluttershy still by showing her that ugly ass face of hers. Now that she's back to normal, Fluttershy's off to form PETA; Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I hear Applejack's planning a rival organization, FEMA; Famers for Evicting Murderers of Apples.
-Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Fluttershy,
Who carried you up a mountain, rounded up all the bunnies for your little census, sells you discount produce to feed all your billion pets, constantly steps between you and life threatening danger, practically feeds the town you live in, whose family MADE the town you live in based solely on the apples we produce, and is the most honest and dependable of ponies who happens to have made it abundantly clear that my orchard is my livelihood?
-AJ
Dear Applejack,
Screw you and everything you've ever done for me, migratory wildlife's right to destroy your life is more important than years of friendship, and the desires of my best friend / alicorn princess. Oh and the apple you've worked all season growing, only stopping to save my hide over and over again that looks delicious enough for me to eat? I've already proven that I'll eat a cake that's not mine; your super apple is toast.
-Fluttershy