Dear Wind Rider:
I'm quite surprised you didn't just murder Rainbow Dash. I'm sure that it would have been a lot easier than having Spitfire go on some wild goose chase and then frame Rainbow for her disappearance. And if you were worried about somepony finding the body, I know a pony named Pinkie Pike who has a "special" way of making bodies disappear.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
Dear Shining Armor:
If the colors of the outfits is what concerns you, then it is probably for the best that you are no longer the Captain of the Guard.
Sincerely, Princess Luna.
Dear Shiny-Whiney:
I think I understand why you love being the captain so much. It's been so much fun coloring them all! Also, they really like cake. You wouldn't believe how much fun it is emptying Princess Celery's cake stash and watching them all chow down!
Sincerely, Disqord (Not to be confused with Discord).
P.S.: By the way, your pink javelin pony has been looking ever so slightly fatter recently. May I inquire why?