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// Friend In Deed 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
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Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Friend In Deed

Dear Princess Celestia,

Alright, so Pinkie's friend-making system is as follows:

Meet somepony new.
Introduce myself.
Sing random song out of nowhere.
Become instant best friends.

Where the hell was that system when I came to town???

Meet somepony new.
Shriek in midair and take off.
Throw a random party out of nowhere.
Laugh at scary-looking trees and sing random song.

It was hilarious how she pointed out Cranky's bald head in front of the entire town square. I think I have to teach her some lessons in subtlety before she tries to help me with my problems and goes “This pony is REALLY really horny!”

On second thought, if it gets me laid, she can do whatever the fuck she wants.

Another thing. She tripped, and as a result, his scrapbook caught on fire? Again, Pinkie tripped? The pony who has the most blatant disregard for simple physics TRIPPED??? I don't believe that for a second.

So it turns out the lost love he was looking for for years was here in Ponyville all along. So in all the places in Equestria he looked, he didn't look in the center. Go figure. So Pinkie Pie hooked them back up, upon which Cranky accepted her apology and friendship, which gave her the most mind-blowing orgasm ever. They then dismissed her for “spending some time together”.

AKA, sex. I'm off now to see if they'd be interested in a threesome.

Your face-booking former student,
Twilight Sparkle





Dear Princess Celestia,

It's just so awesome when someone accepts your apology! Especially when you're really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry!

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie