Dear Princess Twilight,
You know, when you told me that your new home started telling you where to go and who needed to be there, I thought you were kidding. Maybe you still had some relapse over the loss of the Golden Oaks Library. You know, something sensible that doesn't have your house become some unreasonable landlord having you go run its errands for it.
But after hearing of the strange town of equality and realizing that is the truth, something hit me, and I don't like it. I mean, I should, all things considered. Clearly this table is so worldly and all-knowledgeable as to see problems beyond the scope of my view, given I didn't even know of that town at all, and it wasn't marked on any of the maps we have on record.
This pisses me off. That means my mapmakers have been slacking on their yearly updates, the updates they promised would reflect the new layout of the land. Did you know I checked the most "recent" map, and it still doesn't show the ravine caused by Luna during the last Dragon Migration? How did they miss that? Simple. They just didn't do the work.
Well, I'm going to fix that. First thing tomorrow morning, they're going to stop by your castle, and take every note on that map they can. Please make sure they don't miss a spot--I know you're a stickler for accuracy in references and atlases, so you won't let me down.
Then, just to be sure that map is absolutely up to date, I'm gonna send them out to survey and confirm that the map you have is the real deal. It's going to be a long, arduous process that their lazy flanks will object to every day, every step of the way, but it's either that, or they're fired.
Is it too hard to ask that ponies that have a job to actually... do their job? This is just straightforward observation, note-taking, topography, the works! All I want is a good piece of parchment that tells me where things are within a certain degree of accuracy!
And I'm going to get it, no matter the cost. The post office still has the old maps, and gods know they need that if they ever hope to deliver a package to Discord one day. Which may or may not happen. It's hypothetical right now.
Please give them permission to enter the castle once they arrive, Twilight. This is a matter of utmost importance, and I don't want there to be any further delays.
Love,
Princess Celestia
Luna, are you all packed and ready?
Good, I'll get my things set. You made sure Flint and Spark have enough food for the next few days, right?
Gem salads, cupcakes, and snack platters sound perfect. I'll just write another note to have the Crusaders come by, and, hopefully, everything will be fine.
Just fine.