Captain Spitfire,
I need to clarify something, for both your sake and mine.
When the Wonderbolts came to me and asked for funding to build an academy, I was elated at the idea. Ecstatic, even. A place where prospective Wonderbolt candidates can go to learn to be part of one of the largest and important flying squads in all of Equestria? How could I refuse such a forward-thinking motion that ensures the Wonderbolts remain mighty and numbering tens of hundreds strong in times of crisis?
So of course I approved it, and within a few months, the Academy was built and decked out with all the training gear you needed. Wingpower meters, giant fans, storm generators and various other weather machines that service just as well as the factory in Cloudsdale. The whole project was nothing short of a dream turned reality before our very eyes. And with you and your team heading the Academy, plus some supplemental staff here and there, I foresaw nothing but great things to come.
Cut to twenty years later, and despite some noteworthy attendance, I noticed that the number of Wonderbolts hadn't changed one bit. I figured it was a slow start on your part--surprising, given the nature of your performances in towns across the land. Or perhaps the students that attended simply hadn't met your rigorous standards to become one of the few that could soar above all others.
But surely some results would come once Rainbow Dash joined the Academy. I knew how skilled a flyer she was, and expected her to be one of your top students to become a Wonderbolt within just a few months.
Six months later, and nothing happened. So either Rainbow Dash had less intelligence than a cloud, or something was seriously wrong with how the Academy functioned. I chose the latter, and today I did some digging around in a copy of your curriculum and class procedures.
Nowhere in any of the school material, paperwork, or even embossed on the toilet paper rolls are there any mentions of students attending the Academy actually joining a place where they are a Wonderbolt. Not just learning about becoming one, but actually becoming one. In other words, the Academy never set up any Reserves program.
In. Twenty. Years.
Imagine if my School for Gifted Unicorns had taught everything one should know about magical theory, but not how to apply it to anything. All the magic training is available, but I don't offer a place or career path where their skills might see the best use, and failing that, some alternatives that might see them living fulfilling lives their way. That, Captain Spitfire, is what this stagnant Wonderbolt Academy has been doing this whole time.
And you're going to fix this. Right now. Set up a Wonderbolts Reserves program, have some students take some test to try and get in it, and get me some results I can smile at regarding your Academy's standing, for once. If you don't, I'll pull out my funding of the Academy and sort out another solution to choosing Wonderbolts at my discretion. Needless to say, but I will be cleaning house if that happens.
Make my investment in this place worthwhile, Spitfire, because right now, it's as worthless as a tree that bears no fruit. And I am holding an axe.
Best regards,
Princess Celestia
What the--Luna, where did you get all of those military medals?
Okay, no, I guess there's no expressly written rule Alicorns can't join multiple branches of the military, but seriously, the Seaponies? Did you do the song?
NEVERMIND, don't sing it. So, what's next on your badge hunt?
Uh, I'd hold off on the Wonderbolts for a little bit. They have some issues they need to work out veeery soon.