Writing scroll? Check. Sunny and Moony sitting down? Check. Fireplace roaring? Absolutely checked. Luna bundled in a blanket after a rough night and yawning rather loudly, check...
Good. I suppose that means we’re all set for a story, aren’t we? Your hot cocoa all set? Great, and your backup cocoa’s near the hearth to keep it good and warm so there’ll be no big interruptions!
Now then, I’ll begin.
The night of Hearth’s Warming Eve is here.
It comes with wreaths, lights, and holiday cheer
To spread joy and happiness to those near and dear!
The perfect deterrents to anger and fear.
Such negative emotions, most of us know
Are what summon the Windigos.
Frosty horses with a frigid bite
Forever ensure a cruel winter’s night--alright Sunny, put your hoof down. What is it?
Yes, the Windigos really were frosty. They’re magical ice spirits that thrive off of negative emotion.
No, a frozen Siren is not the same thing as a Windigo. Where did you even get that idea?!
Okay, you’re going to need to show me that document Starswirl wrote later. I need to see that for myself. Anyway...
On one such night, many still roamed free
Shortly after the union of the EUP.
Tensions had not fully subsided,
And lingering doubts left some subjects divided.
Take three ponies, one of each tribe:
Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi.
Distrusting those not of their kin;
For Windigoes, ‘twas a meal of sin.
The first from Earth, he called himself Burly.
With a muscular red body, he moved heavy loads in a hurry.
But with the whipping winds nipping at his hooves
The only thing moving was he in the flurry!
“E-E-Eeyup!”
Luna, look. I know that impression of Big Mac was awful, but if you can do better, by all means go ahead.
The second, we will call her Dandy
A rich green unicorn, a visage like lemon-lime candy.
She had great wit to spare, but had no spare tire
To fix her heated carriage, which had sadly caught fire.
“Who thought it was a great idea to put a heater in a wooden carriage?!”
Huh? Oh, I know this pony as an acquaintance of, uh, one of my “deactivated” field operatives. Further discussion is classified.
Now the third pony is quite agile and lean.
Flew free as a bird, that lofty Blazing Wing!
But the blizzard came strong, and put her wings on ice...
“Hey! That wasn’t very nice!”
Heehee, I always wanted to imagine Spitfire in a major blizzard setting. Oh, it’s so satisfying! A-Ahem…
While each of these ponies were in the storm all alone
They’d all spotted the bright lights of a home.
Rushing to the house, they’d know not what was in store
When they’d first met each other at the front door.
“I found the house first! You two stay away!”
“Eenope,” said Burly. “I’m here to stay.”
Blazing Wing snapped, “Get out of my way!”
Then the door opened. The homeowner had this to say:
“You three dare to lay claim to this place?!
I ought to slam the door in front of your face!”
The tan earth mare bellowed and berated,
But her tiny brown colt instead seemed elated!
“Mom, are they our guests tonight?
I know you’re mad, but they seem alright!”
“Button, sweetie, that seems awfully naive…”
“But why, mom? Come on, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve!”
The mother sighed deep, like she’d done many times before
But she acquiesced. “Please, step through the door.
“But,” she added, “don’t you dare cause a fuss.
Or I will kick you all out if I must!”
The three were grateful, as they should
And heard the great hearth crackling with firewood
Shivering, they scrambled, tripped and fought
To warm their bodies with heat they sought
But the mother barred their passage, glared with eyes blue and deep.
“If you want to stay here, you’ll have to earn your keep!
I need help cooking, the table must be set,
and we need more firewood. These goals must be met!”
The three guests groaned, but did not complain,
Lest they cause the mother further disdain.
“I’ll gather the wood,” Burly replied.
He took the axe near the hearth, chipped and unrefined.
He opened the door, and met with a sharp chill,
But this would hardly hamper his will!
He stepped outside, and shut the door.
It’s firewood she wants? Oh, he’ll bring her more!
“I’ll set the table!” Dandy quickly moved
straight toward the mediocre dining room.
‘Twas not as lavish as her wealthy setting,
But it had a rustic charm, hardly upsetting.
With a green glow, dishes, cloth and utensils flowed
In a neat and orderly fashion
For her, this empty table would be bestowed
An appearance worthy of sitting in her mansion!
Blazing Wing, left with little choice,
Entered the kitchen, and heard the mother’s voice.
“Chop up those carrots, and please stir the pot.
Add them when they’re cut, but be careful! The stew’s hot.”
Blazing obliged, cutting the vegetables with ease.
She did it so swiftly the mother was stunned, but pleased!
The feast would be ready at quite the fast pace
As the mother and pegasus had a little cooking race!
Meanwhile, the foal played with his toys
His tiny heart filled with joy
“I just knew those three were cool.
Hearth’s Warming is gonna rule!”
Within a short time, each pony had done their part
A week’s worth of firewood, which was a great start
But the elegant dining table was a fabulous winner
A perfect arrangement for a Hearth’s Warming dinner
But trouble brewed as the three guests
Each claimed their contribution was the best
“All you did was cut trees!”
“You just placed plates and forks!”
“None of that matters! The food’s the best, see?!”
Much like a shaken champagne, this pressure would be uncorked.
With an icy neigh, the Windigos came
Shattering the windows and dousing the flame
They tore through the house, reintroducing that awful, bitter cold
Winter’s wrath came, raged and took hold
"MOOOOOOOOOOOM! These Windigos iced my train!"
"I know, Button! Mommy's fighting, and shall see them all slain!"
"No, mom! Maybe they’re also guests! We should show them compassion!"
"I don't think they care about that kind of attraction!"
Yes Luna, I see your hoof raised. What is it?
Wait, there’s actually a mom-son pairing with her son given that name? Huh. What a funny coincidence.
No, I’m not changing it. I’m too far in now.
Just as quick as they came, they left in a flash.
The damage had been done by the end of the clash.
The wind howled and the three scowled; they feared what was in store
Worriedly watching the kitchen door.
Exiting the kitchen with clattering teeth
Her child cried cold tears, clinging to her back.
The mother glared at them as she unsheathed
A most horrific verbal attack
“Do you three see what you’ve done?!
You’ve beckoned the monsters who nearly froze my son!
All because of what, a petty quarrel over who did most?
Because if this is what it came to, there is nothing to boast!
“My home is sub-zero, the windows are broken;
The front door is in shambles, and our hooves are frozen.
This is what you’ve done: you’ve ruined our night!
Hearth’s Warming is ruined! Get out of my sight!”
Ashamed, the three knew they were to blame
And together walked away in shame.
For minutes, they moved in complete silence
Reflecting upon their bitter violence.
Blazing started, “We could have shown more care.”
Dandy added, “We should have done much more.”
“Eeyup, and now we’ve saddled that mare
with the mother of all chores.”
With the worst come to pass, who knew what would await
The trio of ponies after… wait, seriously? A pee break?!
Well that’s what happens when you down both of your hot chocolates just as I got halfway through! You’re supposed to pace yourselves!
Bah, fine! Go on, get to the bathroom. You too, Moony… and I guess you too, Luna. I guess everypony needs to go right now, huh?!
...Erm, including me.