Dear Journal,
Incredibly, Discord decided to update our clown outfits today by adding shiny red noses and changing out our wigs from balding to afro. Smiling seems like the proper response to having more hair, but I’ve had too much of his shenanigans to smile in earnest anymore.
Catching him with his proverbial (or literal) pants down remains the most difficult challenge to date. Of course, Luna remains optimistic we’ll get him. “Rainbow magic can--and will--work, Celestia!” Dear sister, I wish I could share in your enthusiasm.
If we could obtain those Elements he so generously flaunts on his upside-down slanted throne, I would gladly take them and use them in a heartbeat. Sadly, he makes sure a great deal of his time is devoted to keeping an eye on us. Watching, waiting for any sign that our current arrangement doesn’t satisfy either of us anymore. I’ll be honest--at this point, it really isn’t.
Lately, his demands of us have grown more ridiculous. “Laps! I want a thousand laps, my royal fools!” Never have I felt so humiliated in my life running track for a draconequus on a unicycle! Gods have mercy on my legs, for they burn and ache with misery akin to my Royal Guard training program.
Though I must admit many of his demands have given me so much exercise I’ve actually lost weight! Offering my thanks to him would seem beneficial just for that alone…
No, I must stay firm. Even if he’s helped me do something I’ve struggled for years to do myself, the other things he has done here cannot stand as they are. Getting better terms on our foolish deal is paramount to our success in making sure Equestria isn’t a complete madhouse. Other ponies must not be caught in his sights, and we must keep him entertained and away from them while we figure out a better way to deal with him.
The time for another friendly chat is coming soon. If I’m reading this journal entry correctly, it seems he’s willing to come to new terms as well. As I thought, he’s definitely been spying on me and my journals, but cursing my diction to hide his responses is insanely clever, if needlessly complex and... ugh, nonsensical.
Time is wasting the longer I spend writing this journal. Everfree border in ten minutes, Discord; don't keep us waiting.