Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man


Keeping Calm is Difficult Around Discord

Dearest Fluttershy,

You've greatly impressed me today. You did something I thought highly improbable, for while I know you could tame dragons, a chaotic draconequus is another story entirely.

If I'm honest, while I placed great faith in you in getting Discord to play nice, I expected things to end with him sitting in stone again. As usual, he let his chaotic magic roam free with reckless abandon, and I got an earful from Mayor for it.

Mayor flipped out with a report mentioning a great flood, general calamity, and Discord just being an arsehole to her piles of paperwork by eating them. "This mismatched goat ate all of the financial paperwork! Tell him to give it back! You brought him here, and look at what he's done to my office! He kindly redecorated the place so it doesn't look like a stuffy old codger's lodge! I'm extremely ungrateful for this generous renovation of my office setting!"

So, Discord, I know you're hovering over Fluttershy's shoulder reading this. You probably have those tacky glasses you wore the last time I tried presenting a formal peace treaty so you'd stop screwing with us long ago, only for you to eat it and comment on its exquisite taste. Classy action, that one. But to the point, do give Mayor's paperwork back. I'd ask for that treaty of mine, but gods know how long that's stewed in your stomach and--

Discord? What do you want? Oh, let me guess, you want another game of Pony Checkers, is that it? As much fun as that would be for using the nobles here for the pieces, I have to decline.

A delivery? Well, if you're reformed, I'm to expect no surprises, right? You know, like that box of chocolates you gave me that weren't chocolates?

How do you know I ate half--nevermind. Just tell me that whatever's in this thing isn't disgusting in any way, shape, or form.

You gave one to Luna too? Well... if she can handle it, I guess I can. Still don't fully trust you yet though. That takes time.

Aaand he poofed. Okay, Fluttershy, while you may have converted him, he's still a bit loose on his leash. I'm not going to say you're his handler, but you are his friend, so make sure he keeps his antics at a level reasonable enough for Mayor and I to not lose our marbles. He will steal them; he has before, and will do it if he has the opportunity.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Okay, let's see what's in this thing. I swear, if it's another wrapped Diamond Dog turd...

It's... my bag of marbles...

This doesn't fix all the wrongs you did, you know! But... well...

It's a start.