Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man


Bonus: Once in a Blue Moon, the Moon Talks Back

Moon Journal, Year… three? Four? Is it four?

Oh, who am I kidding? I can barely keep track of how many moon stones I’ve cast in the past minute, let alone gauge my current length of imprisonment. At least Luna had the satisfaction of knowing when a day passed just from me shifting the sun and moon every morning and evening.

Progress on escaping has been less than ideal. Manipulating loose rocks and debris on the moon’s surface had been the most I could manage for the past few years, but moving myself or the moon as a whole is still on lockdown thanks to Luna’s magic.

Heh. Luna. I’m still calling her that, even though she constantly calls herself Nightmare Moon nowadays, at least from how she shouts her name at me like it’s a validating statement that she’s really changed.

...But if she keeps calling me her sister, how much has she changed? Hm, I wonder if she’s free to talk about that right now. Three taps on the tower wall should do.

Busy with a magic table? Really? Is her life really so boring that she’s thinks spending time examining enchanted furniture is more important than speaking with me?!

Well, I’ll be fair. It could be very important to her, but if it is, then I should try to do something about it. I must stop whatever her plan with it is from coming to fruition… and yet I have no idea of what her plan is.

Yeesh, is this what she’s spent her time doing in here? Plotting for things that could mean anything or nothing and senselessly chucking stones in the meantime?

If nothing else, stones always get a reaction. Ooh, there’s an unbroken window on her tower I haven’t graced with lunar greetings! This moderate-size one should do.

Run out? Who does she take me for, a fool? Of course I know I’ve thrown… I don’t know how many rocks so far and--oh no she didn’t. She. DIDN’T!

I’ll show YOU what I think about this limit! You can take THIS and shove it in your snake-toothed piehole!

Huh. I can’t believe I threw one that big. Luna hasn’t thrown one that big. Wait, if I threw a chunk that big, would that mean I could throw…

Well, that’s something I could try tonight. But if the whole moon won't budge, I'll ship it piecemeal. That should be feasible. Luna may have her ‘eternal’ night for now, but soon, she won’t have much of a moon to be proud of.

But I also need a good landing spot to minimize collateral damage. Hrmm... hey, that white circle in the Everfree seems like a good spot to land! Seems a bit pinpoint though... but I could make it a bullseye with some more debris. That should make it a bit easier to aim for.

Have one more stone, dear sister. I’ll be coming home soon.