Dear Granny Smith,
You knew, didn't you? You knew since the very beginning that the Sisterhooves Social could make exceptions for stallions to compete in place of a sister. And yet you let Big Mac--sorry, 'Orchard Blossom'--continue with that ridiculous idea of crossdressing his way into competing? Knowing full well this would likely play out as an incredible disaster by the last event?
Your deviance is just delicious to read, Granny. Contributing an old dress and older wig to his scheme? Well played. It reminds me of when I did something like this back when Twilight was little. I don't think I've told you this story before, but I really should in light of your naughty plan.
One day, when Twilight was still my protégé, I pulled a little gender switcheroo. Not just a little crossdressing--a full-on gender bender spell. The flabbergasted look on all of my guards, and notably Shining Armor's face upon saluting His Majesty 'Prince Solus', initially made my day. Shockingly, the maids weren't too confused by the situation, and one had the gall to ask me if she should start changing the sheets daily instead of every other day. I really liked the cut of her jib...
Huh, I can't recall the last time I've been on a sailboat. I wouldn't mind giving that a try sometime.
Anyway, all of their reactions were nothing compared to Twilight's. I remembered barging into her room, asking her how things were as if nothing had changed about my appearance. Oh, how the gears in her head ground down to smooth wheels as she tried to figure out exactly what was going on. Was I really Princess Celestia in disguise? Some delusional stallion with misplaced memories? The victim of a mind swap conspiracy while a noblepony posed as me? I'll admit, that last one gave me a good chuckle.
I did give up the ruse that afternoon once she started looking into ways to turn me back to normal. I knew this joke was taken too far when she called in an overzealous doctor that was way too eager to mess around with my assets... and on second thought, I'm not even sure they were a real doctor. Who wears a straitjacket for scrubs, anyway? That should have been a huge red flag.
Things did go back to normal after that, although I kept her away from the medical textbooks that year. I admired her determination, just not the direction it took. I should hope that Apple Bloom and Big Mac took a lesson from this as Twilight had--she took about twenty different lessons from my prank, most of which involving a long mental checklist dedicated to making sure that the help she gets actually knows what they're doing.
Oh, and I should be free for 'that' trip this week. I found a sitter, and she's been reasonably informed of the situation here in the castle, so we should be all set. I'll see you soon.
Friends Forever,
Celestia
Ah, Twilight! I'm glad you came--
Clones? Ah, you mean Sunny and Moony! Yes, they do share a very... strong resemblance to us, don't they?
Yes, uh, near-identical in looks, but their behavior is far unlike anything you've seen from me or Luna. Trust me, the differences will make themselves crystal clear in no time.
Well, I've outlined most of their habits in the notice on my desk over there. But if you happen to have any questions, feel free to send a letter and ask anything you wish. I can fill you in on any gaps in information if I can.
Ah yes, there is one more thing: keep them out of the kitchen. No, really. Don't let them in there, no matter how much they ask you to. Keep. Them. OUT.