Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06 and MixMassBasher
Brotherhooves Social
Dear Applejack,
For a bunch of inbred hicks, your family sure is awfully politically correct. That bullshit needs to stop.
"Loose definition" of what constitutes a sister? How about no. Instead, how about this: In order to be considered sisters, you both have to have vaginas, and speaking of vaginas, you have to come out of the same one. Sisters.
Really, it's not that hard. Your Social is getting as ridiculous as that Jenner stallion that wants to be considered a mare just because he says so.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Director of the Ponyville Region Social Gathering Oversight Committee
Dear Sister,
I think we forgot to attend the Sisterhooves Social again, didn't we?
Sincerely,
Princess Luna
Dear Shining Armor,
I would be glad if you don't dress up as a mare like Big Mac to make me "happy". It feels weird. Even for me. I would prefer you bucking me instead.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Big Mac,
Well I do declare that at the next Apple family reunion, we're gonna have a long talk about identity theft.
Sincerely,
Cousin Orchard Blossom
Dear Big Mac,
Is that my Old Dress? Could have sworn it used to be Blue and Black. Or was it White and Gold?
Confused,
Granny Smith
Dear Diary,
Ever since Twilight and her friends stopped sending me letters, I have had an awful lot of time to myself. I've been using a lot of that time to think about Twilight's trips through the mirror to that alternate dimension, and I've been reading her reports on her adventures there. Something is perplexing me.
My parallel self is the principal of a high school over there. So, is she a principal because I'm a princess, or am I a princess because she's a principal? Has she been running that school for one thousand years? Did she send her sister to the moon space camp for one thousand hours?
JUST WHO THE FUCK AM I?!?
-Princess Celestia