//------------------------------//
// Wonderbolts Academy 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Wonderbolts Academy

Dear Princess Celestia,

So Rainbow's flying actually got unshitty enough to get accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy. But I'm starting to get the feeling that her orgy with all those Pinkie clones actually contained the original Pinkie, because she really started to miss Rainbow Dash, and fast. She just stood at the mailbox and pressed F5 over and over again. Hey Pinkie, here's an idea; how about you actually, oh, I don't know, WAIT FOR THE MAILPONY?

She continued wasting away, and we finally had to intervene, and suggest that she send Rainbow a letter first. She went one step further and suggested sending her a care package through the mail. That would be tricky without being able to confirm that she had gotten five kills in a row, so we decided to deliver it personally. Good thing, because Derpy Mail has been slipping lately. Approximately 98% of their mail is delivered in perfect condition, and they only advertised 80%. I'd rather have 80% than 98%, it's more exciting that way. Real risk when you send somepony something! Last but not least, it was an opportunity to get out of Ponyville. We seriously need more excuses to get away.

Come to think of it, let's take “fly a hot air balloon into a tornado” off that list of excuses. No sooner than we cleared the cloud cover did a twister come and flung us around and snapped our balloon in half. And I only had two payments left! With some admittedly quick skillful maneuvering, Rainbow formed a bed of clouds for us to land on. Did she keep us on the clouds? Nope. Turned it into a trampoline and sent us flying back up to be caught by the cadets. I'm pretty sure Thunderlane is getting some tonight. Lucky bastard.

So after Rainbow miraculously remembers us over the course of three days, she confronts her partner and quits training due to Lightning Dust's recklessness. She packs her things and gets ready to leave. As we gather at the end of the runway, Spitfire chases down Rainbow Dash, chastising her for walking out. I figured she was here to confiscate her uniform and goggles before leaving. I doubt they were handed out for free. Instead, she commends Rainbow on being so forward, and promotes her to Lead Pony. So she drops her bags and does laps with the others, leaving the rest of us stranded up here.

Yeah, that's right. Last I checked, we're on a floating island in the sky, our hot air balloon was demolished, and four of us can't fly. That's the last time we ever come to check up on you, lezbitch.

Isn't there some kind of shrine around here with a fucking huge green gem we could guard or something? Maybe if we remove it, this place will go back down to the ground.

Your jewel-stealing former student,
Twilight Sparkle





Dear Rainbow Dash,

Oh I get it. Promise to take me under your wing, and then take off for Wonderbolts training. I see how it is.

I'll just stay here and entertain myself in this dark, drafty orphanage.

Sincerely,
Scootaloo