//------------------------------//
// Anniversary Bonus Chapter: The Cupcake Chronicles 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Anniversary Bonus Chapter
The Cupcake Chronicles

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, apparently Pinkie Pie has been butchering ponies down in the basement of Sugar Cube Corner for months now. That's...not surprising at all.

What? She's been doing every single drug known to ponydom! Why the fuck is the town so shocked that she'd do something like this?

So because Applejack had made a date with Rainbow Dash to have some apple pie, which would no doubt lead to lovemaking, she became worried when her rainbow slut didn't come calling. She started asking all around town, and just happened to be passing Sugar Cube Corner when she heard Rainbow scream. Freaking out because she thought Pinkie was giving her one hell of a orgasm, she rushed into the basement and kicked Pinkie into a table for ruining her night. She rushed Rainbow to the hospital because she didn't want to fuck a corpse.

So one of the hospital staff gets a message out to the rest of us. I can't believe I had to get up at 3 in the morning, because I REALLY CARE what happens to that lespony. But she can't fly anymore, so at least fellow Pegasi are safe from her sexual predation. That's a good thing I suppose. So the next morning, we're finally let into her room. To be honest, she looked kinda pathetic. If she was on life support, I probably would've pulled the plug.

So then she wakes up and realizes she can't fly, does a little crying, and then we're told to let her rest. So I thought that I could finally get back to the library for some peace. Nope. Rarity wants me to set up a meeting with you so she can set up a meeting with the Wonderbolts so she can make a present for Rainbow Dash. Yep. You heard that right. Someone I don't care about wants me to set up a meeting with someone I don't care about, so she can make a present for someone I don't care about.

You know what she ended up making? A fucking hoodie. I didn't know Equestria's copyright laws were that strict. But I did think it was deliciously cruel. It was like she wanted to remind her of her dream that she wasn't ever going to be able to fulfill now. Ingenious! No wonder her heart is so cold; it's probably encrusted with jewels.

So still wanting to get some, Applejack offers Rainbow a place to stay.

That's another thing. Rainbow Dash is mutilated to within an inch of her life, and she's let out of the hospital in THREE days? Give me a fucking break! I know Pegasi don't heal that fucking quickly. I just think AJ bribed some of the hospital staff so she could get a torture victim alone in bed.

So a few nightmares, traumatized fillies, and swims later, Rainbow decides that she can suddenly run a marathon. What's more? She wins. So this town is really out of shape. I mean, everypony lost to a pony who had part of her leg eaten. I need to organize a fat camp, as soon as possible, because that's just sad.

So as more days pass, Rainbow starts feeling sorry for the pony who tried to bake her into cupcakes. She comes to talk to me, and tells me that she thinks that it's all her fault because it all started with planning her surprise birthday party. Actually, that sounds pretty accurate. So good job, Rainbow Dash. You are responsible for the deaths of a dozen ponies. Hope that makes you feel better. Oh, nope. It didn't. Now she has this idea of taking our shitty fountain in the middle of town and making it more shitty by dedicating it to the victims of Pinkie. Then Mrs. Cake decided she was sick and tired of taking care of a dead serial killer's pet, so she dumped him off on Rainbow.

Sometime after the fountain's dedication, Applejack was having trouble making the first move. So she waited for Rainbow to after a long day of work. There they were, just sitting on the dock, and then bam. Kiss. Are you fucking kidding me? No buildup, no nothing! Then they ran back to the farmhouse and made love. I hear that no one makes love better than a torture victim.

Then just they're moving past it all, Luna shows up and gives Rainbow Dash the journal that Pinkie had kept. This made her sick. Oh joy. Great job, Luna.

So the next day, Applejack and Rainbow do a delivery to a grocer, and apparently he doesn't like doing business with ponies whom he can't force his right wing Celestian beliefs on. Rainbow precedes to shatter his front window, and the townsfolk take Rainbow's side as she ushers in a new age of equality for all ponies and all that stupid crap.

After his business suffers, Rainbow refuses Marty's apology, and proceeds to have another fuckfest with Applejack in the orchard, which Pinkie's ghost crashes. All of Ponyville is rocked by an earthquake. Thankfully that shitty fountain was reduced to rubble. After consulting Zecora, who told us to consult the 'good' Pinkie, we finally had our key; we had to destroy the journal of Tom Ridd- err, I mean Pinkie.

So after all that, Rainbow gets her wings back as Pinkie's good half vanishes. Happy fucking ending, whoopty-fuckin' doo. So now they've dragged me along to do a year's worth of shows with the Wonderbolts. I imagine that at the end of every night they two of them had fillyfooler sex.

Lucky cunts. Why can't I ever get that lucky?

Your former student giving sex advice to a redneck,
Twilight Sparkle