//------------------------------// // 28 Pranks Later // Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by milesprower06 //------------------------------// Additional contributions by MixMassBasher Dear Diary, Being a dick to everypony is fun. No wonder Twilight is such a bitch all the time. First off, I scared the living daylight out of Fluttershy with my disguise. Why? Well let's call it payback for scaring me last Nightmare Night... Then I decided to prank Twilight with a whoopie cushion. Can't beat the classics, am I right? But my so-called friends say that my pranks have no effort? Please. I take it very seriously. Pranks for nothing you guys. So what do I do to prove myself? Well, go on a pranking spree of course! And by Celestia, it well worth it! Switching Mrs. Cake's sewing machine shaped cake with Rarity's one was priceless! I feel sorry for the poor sucker that will eat the cake that's made of nuts and bolts. After that AJ was next up on my list of victims. I actually made her sleep with the pigs!!! After all, she is such a stubborn swine and a down to earth pony. I think my favorite prank was the double prank on Spike and Celestia. I think I pretty much gave Spike a headache and Celestia a fifty ton spam mail. I was pretty much on a pranking streak and boy was I on fire!! And now to top it all up.... My best prank ever. I'm going to prank the whole town! I'll going to replace all the filly guide cookies with my special joke cookies that is filled with my mane colour. (Don't ask what's the dye made of. Trust me. You don't want to know) This is going to be awesome!!! The Pranking Queen, Rainbow Dash Dear Matilda, Let's move out of this crazy town! Your husband, Cranky Dear Spa Ponies, I need a back massage for my sore back. In pain, Big Mac Dear Rainbow Dash, I do not look that fat!! Insulted, Ms. Cheerilee Dear Colgate Minuette, I need a dental appointment for my broken teeth. In Pain, Mr. Cake Dear Rainbow Dash, COOOOOKKKKKKIIIIIEEEE!!!!! Hungry, Cookie Monster Dear Rainbow Dash, Get ready your peashooters. There're coming. -Crazy Dave 0900p.m. Strange it's been a whole day... why haven't anypony noticed their rainbow dyed mouths by now? What's going on. 0915p.m. Okay there is clearly something strange going on... What's wrong with the The Cake family? I mean Pinkie still is being Pinkie probably on some kind of new drug but The Cakes??? There's seriously something strange going on... 0920p.m. The whole town... The whole fucking town!!! By Celestia what have I done!!! I think I just created the trotting dead!!! 0930p.m. Oh no! Twilight and Fax Machine not you guys too! The horror! THE HOORRRROOR!!!! 0940p.m. Oh my Celestia! Fluttershy too! I'd prefer her as a vampire bat!!! 0950p.m Urm... it's hard to tell if Granny Smith is a zompony what with her being ancient and all.... 1000p.m. Carl! I mean Scootaloo! Run!!! 1030p.m. Good those zomponies are so fucking slow. We managed to evade them to hide in the barn. ... Hiding in the barn? Really? We should be hightailing out of Ponyville!!! Not get ambushed. Or better yet find Zecora for whatever voodoo magic she has to cure this zompony epidemic. 1040p.m. It's just the last of us left and of course we get ambushed. Seriously we searched the entire barn and there was no guns, ammunition or weapons!!! What the fuck! Isn't that how zombie apocalypse work? Finding weapons scattered about randomly everywhere? 1050p.m. Those zomponies are here!!! We barricaded the walls but the zomponies started clawing their way in muttering about eating brains. I'm pretty sure AJ should be safe from harm then. 1100p.m. Shit!?! I'm the last survivor. Back off you zomponies!! 1110p.m. It was all a prank... Fuck you guys!!! Dear Rainbow Dash, Beat it kid! Let me show you how a real bad boy deals with zomponies. Thriller-style. The smooth criminal, Mikeal Jackass Dear Rainbow Dash, Don't feel too bad. My own friends did the exact same prank on me. Annoyed, Blooregard Q. Kazoo Bloo The entire town were laughing a storm at Rainbow's expense. "Seriously though... Fuck you guys..." Rainbow grumbled. "Oh come on don't like a taste of your own medicine?" Applejack replied smirking. Rainbow answered that with a glare leading to the surrounding ponies to laugh even harder. "Soooo... now that's over and done with... Anypony want to try a gang bang zompony orgy session?" Twilight asked. "NOOOOO!!!" Shouted all the Ponyville Citizens. "Hey has anyone seen Starlight?" Meanwhile back in the Friendship Castle...There was a certain pink unicorn was hiding in the broom closet. "This is an audio recording. It is now 1130p.m. The zomponies have infected Ponyville. I'm the last survivor... I have gathered as weapons, ammunition, food and spells so I should be safe... I will not be infected... Zomponies do your worst!!!" Dear Rainbow Dash, So where did you order those cookies from? Sincerely, Pinkie Pie Dear Pinkie, It's a bakery operation out of a mansion in the middle of the forest. I think they make umbrellas out there too. Weird. Sincerely, Rainbow Dash