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// Wonderbolt Powers, Activate! 
// Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess 
// by Tired Old Man 
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Captain Spitfire,

I was spending a relaxing bit of time in my room reading a novel on my favorite chair. I rarely get such free time, but when I get it, I spend it like this, content on willing away the ills and woes of the day with no expected interruptions short of my sister discovering another food development she missed in the last millenium. This time she discovered Hayburgers. Gods help her for that place; their food tastes like shame slathered in secret sauce. Delicious, awful shame.

Anyway, one of your students paid me a visit today by crashing into my tower. Again. Just straight-up plowed through the doors and nailed me in the chair. A pretty commendable shot, to be sure, except for the fact that I'm not the target they should be aiming at.

This is the fifth time this month, Spitfire, and I'm really starting to wonder if the catapults and tornado launchers the trainees use are aimed at my tower once a week on purpose just to piss me off. I know the last time I visited the Wonderbolt Academy, those things were facing mountains without a giant city attached on the side, so the idea that they'd get turned towards my home without forewarning of pony bombardment seems lax on your part.

I get that you need to make sure the ponies under your wing are Wonderbolt material, and that it calls for them to adapt to extreme situations that your squadron has encountered before in the line of duty. I even know that it actually happened once when Soarin decided to be a bit foalish over the town and ended up breaking Discord's stained-glass window. But if you're going to have this be a thing, do me a solid and let me know when it happens so I can have the guards set up a rebound net. That way they'll stop hitting my walls and instead hit something more of a cushion than me.

Further, I request that you send me your roster for reserve Wonderbolts this week. I need to update the records here, and I know Rainbow Dash has exhibited great interest in being one. Send it to me as soon as possible so I can keep the list here updated.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

P.S. If I have to come down there and get those roster records, I'll show you exactly what it feels like to be me when a student becomes a castle crasher.