//------------------------------//
// MMMystery on the Friendship Express 
// Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by keaton-furman-prower 
//------------------------------//

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Long ago, the desserts were prepared on-site, which made it far easier for the competitors to put their desserts together. Eventually, however, one competitor commented on how complex his design was, and how it would have collapsed on top of him en route. This made me realize just how many potential disasters were just waiting to happen in each bakery in the nation. Thus, I made it an official rule that all desserts had to be made at the bakers' hometown, then transported all the way to Canterlot. It has cause no end to the frustrations of thousands of bakers, and no end of hilarity to their efforts to make it here without destroying their precious works of art.

Still, I'm impressed that you and your friends went to such length to transport the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness across Ponyville. I mean, it would have been hilarious if all your levels of protection failed simultaneously and ended up covering you all in rich creamy goodness. Of course, you would probably have had a great time with that.

I'm not sure the competitors would have enjoyed it so much, however. In fact, I'm pretty sure you could have scared them all off the train simply by being your usual horny self. Nopony left to compete against the MMMM, problem solved. And you would have gotten yourself laid. But then again, you're probably too foolish to understand that.

Also, if you want to see the world through Pinkie's eyes, why not steal her drugs? I mean, we both know she's only like that because she's constantly high. Just go through her stash and find the bags labeled “Silent Film,” “Spy Film,” and “Ninja Film” and you will understand her point of view.

Now, let's talk about the competitors. I must admit, the descriptions of their desserts sound quite delicious. If they get another chance, I would certainly love to see them reproduce their efforts for me. Of course, I'd have to make sure nopony else was present, now that I've come to learn that everypony in Equestria is a sugar-crazy thief, a sabotage expert, and/or a jerk.

Still, the fact that they were able to combine the remains of their deceased desserts into a culinary masterpiece is an impressive feat. Not as impressive as Pinkie eating it all in one bite, but still not too shabby.

So, in summary, your thoughts amuse me, as does the image of Pinkie Pie pissing syrup.

Your cake-adoring former teacher, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Remind me to banish Pinkie to the moon for eating all my cake.