//------------------------------//
// A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2

Dear Shining Armor,

'You're being a tiny bit possessive of your brother,' they said. 'Spike's playing with dolls, are you beating him enough?' they said. 'Please get some counseling' they said. Well, what the fuck do they know?

You know, I'm purposefully right most of the time, but it's somewhat rare that I'm accidentally right. Turns out the Cadance I met up in Canterlot was a doppelganger who locked the real one down here. She had gotten quite horny down here, but we figured it was a bit more important to try and make the bitch upstairs pay for taking our stallion for herself. Cadance was a bit skeptical of our chances, so I told her that if we actually pulled it off, she had to promise to do a threesome with you and me.

So we set off. Did you know that in order to get up to Canterlot, first you have to take an old rusty minecart DOWN a spiraling track? Who the hell dug this place? Seriously, it makes just about as much sense as the doppelganger singing at the top of her lungs about her evil plans and no one hears her. After tricking the mind-controlled bridesmaids into jumping off a cliff, we made it to the chapel just in time. Revealing herself to be the queen of the Changelings, this 'Chrysalis' plots to feed off of all the love in Equestria. So at least Ponyville's safe. I'm convinced that it's impossible for anypony to get laid in that town.

And what the fuck is this? Celestia is actually standing up to a threat rather than just sending me and the goof troop? Well, at least I now understand why she constantly sends us, because she just got her ass handed to her. I guess trolling really is the only thing she's good at. She tells us to go get the Elements of Harmony and use them to defeat the Queen. That's another thing; when she is aware of a threat to our nation, why doesn't she have the most powerful weapons of her arsenal out and ready to use? Nope, just keep them sealed up in that little box in that vault that only she can open, and not the actual wielders of the Elements. I bet that after this, she'll use this attack as an excuse to create a completely new arm of government, call it something like the Department of Equestrian Security, and it'll be so fucking useless and a waste of tax bits that it'll be the butt of jokes for the next decade.

So because the Changelings know a thing or five about actual warfare, we're brought back to the chapel, where they have Celestia encased in a cocoon, and Cadance glued to the floor with some kind of goo. Either that or they jizzed on her. Kinky. When the Queen goes to the window to sing her shitty song again, I quick make a move to free Cadance, and you and her perform a dual love spell that repels Chrysalis and her minions. Oh no, don't obliterate them, just send them flying off into the distance so they can come back one day. Also, I find it very hard to believe that every single Changeling was perfectly positioned to be pushed out of the city by the force field, and not turned to paste on the side of a building.

So after all this, Applejack was the only one with enough balls to actually apologize to me. Damn straight, now where are the other four? And what about Bitchlestia? I just saved your castle, city, and country, you flowing-hair whore! All she had to say to me was “this is your victory too.” Well no shit.

So guess what, big brother best fucker forever? Since I saved the day, I'm getting a threesome. So you're going to satisfy me whether you want to or not. I'll prove myself to you one way or another, and one day you'll be mine!

Now to go off and see how Fax Machine is going to totally fuck up this bachelor party he's put together.

Your incestuous sexy sister,
Twilight Sparkle