Dear Twilight Sparkle:
First off, how dare you use those time travel spells without my permission?! Do you realize that you could have torn a hole in the fabric of space and time and destroyed all reality?! The laws of time are mine! And you will obey me!!!
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I think I should explain your little paradox to you. You see, when you think about your visitations between yourself in the past and the future, you assume that time is a strict progression of cause and effect. In reality, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey… stuff.
Also, isn't science fun when you live in a world of magic? Even if meeting yourself isn’t scientifically possible, you know you could always clone yourself, or travel to alternate universes. Who knows, perhaps somewhere out there is a universe where you’re actually a faithful student to me.
By the way, I was under the impression that you’d scrapped all your ideas of turning your fax machine into a sex machine. So why would you try to invade his dreams? Are you hoping he’ll realize just how futile his life is and become completely subservient to you? Or are you trying to make him choose between an awful dream of his death and an awful life as your slave?
Finally, I should warn you that Pinkie has much more than just balls and eye patches stashed everywhere. Just yesterday I checked beneath my bed and found a blue wooden box, a gas mask, a crystal ball with three witches, a disco-era robot dog, a jar full of flesh-eating snowflakes, a dozen bananas (Do you like bananas? Always take a banana to a party. Bananas are good.), and a fez.
Lady President of the High Council of Gallopfrey, Princess Celestia Romana Oswin Melody Faust.
P.S.: I really love your new mane style. It’s the kind of mane that tells ponies not to take you seriously.