//------------------------------// // Applebuck Season // Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by keaton-furman-prower //------------------------------// Dear Twilight Sparkle: I suspect that the Apple family is at least partially inbred. It would certainly explain a lot. Of course, there's also the possibility she's part cow. Their stupidity would defile even royal alicorn genes if allowed. On the other hand, it made for quite a bit of entertainment when they began to stampede through your little town. You should have seen the way they almost trampled everypony! Of course, there may be a solution to the cow problem. You may wish to consider joining P.E.T.A. (Ponies for the Eating of Tasty Animals) for more details. Also, I must say that Ponyville has a problem. If they spent an entire week organizing a ceremony to celebrate their town not getting run over by stupid cows, yet could get all their stuff for the Summer Sun Celebration ready in just under a day, they must have really bad priorities. Especially if the guest of honor is half asleep when she gets there. You must be so happy to live there, huh? Of course, the real fun began when Big Mac got injured and Applejack vowed to buck all the trees by herself. Seriously? Oh, this was fucking epic! First off, Rainbow Dash. The fact that Applejack catapulted her right onto your balcony? Total mood killer for you! Injuries for Dash! Popcorn for me! And then there was the muffin incident. Oh man. Those bakers must be real morons if they let that pink drug addict bake anything! Of course, maybe they thought having Applejack around would stop her from putting anything dangerous into the mix. Oh boy were they wrong! Admittedly, however, I was slightly disappointed when she caused my requested batch of slave bunnies to escape. Of course, the way they trampled the town and caused everypony to panic (Seriously?! How the hell is a rabbit stampede even a threat?!) was absolutely worth it. Also, I find it hard to believe that two ponies are enough to buck an entire orchard. Indeed, if Applejack was so tired after doing so little, Big Mac could probably buck the entire orchard himself! Of course, if Big Mac truly is strong enough to buck the entire orchard by himself, then he definitely deserves to have a sandwich named in his honor. Especially if it's approved by P.E.T.A.. Your faithful Bringer of the day, Princess Celestia.