//------------------------------// // The Show Stoppers // Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by milesprower06 //------------------------------// Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student by milesprower06 The Show Stoppers Dear Princess Celestia, I do believe I've discovered a fatal flaw with the Cutie Mark. I mean, once you find a hobby as a kid, and get good enough at it, that's it. I suppose our kind really can't look forward to career changes. Our whole existence is one big concentration camp. Fate slaps a random tattoo on your ass, and you're forced into that type of labor for the rest of your life. And why does the Cutie Mark wait until you become aware of your talent? Being aware of your abilities takes a certain amount of brain power that Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo apparently just aren't capable of. There should come a time when a pony reaches a certain age when the cutie mark just appears. Bam, here's what you're doing for the rest of your days, get to work. So today we've figured out they can't feed pigs, they can't work a taffy machine, they give horrendous makeovers, everypony knows the only psychic in Equestria is Pinkie, they can't scale a 10 foot boulder, and I don't even want to know why they got the idea to scuba dive. Also, do you know a good lawyer? Because if they mess up my bookshelves again, I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to do to them. Even the school teacher, who somehow manages to educate these ruffians, wasn't able to hammer the point home that they should focus on what they're already good at. I don't know, maybe we need an actual hammer. I know that would make me feel better. So Cheerilee suggested the talent show. I couldn't figure out whether or not she was serious, but was sure it'd be a hoot either way. So on the night of the talent show, I immediately became afraid of the motto 'fillies are the future.' Very afraid. But it was entertaining nonetheless. Cheerilee even had an ingenious award system; give the Best Comedy medal to the worst act of the night. Well, guess who it was? Yep, the Cutie Mark Disasters. Problem is, now that they thought this medal actually meant something and not just a consolation prize, they're now going after their talent in comedy. But I doubt they'll pull off anything funnier and more horrible than a rock ballad from the neighties. So to close, I began rummaging through some of their rejected items for the show. Apparently Sweetie Belle thought ponies had five legs, sorry, but the Apple family's inbreeding hasn't even caused that deformity yet. Also I came across the best lyrics ever. I mean, why didn't they use these? In fact, I'll finish them real quick. With our cutie marks, we'll rock Equestria. We use our stomachs to digestia. I write a letter to Celestia My fucking lyrics are the bestia! Your lyrical former student, Twilight Sparkle