//------------------------------// // The Point of No Return // Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student // by milesprower06 //------------------------------// Additional contributions by MixMassBasher. Dear Diary, Today was the most entertaining day for me in a while. Rather strange when, just this morning, Muffins the Mailmare nearly dropped a loot crate onto me. I thought it was full of figurines that I always wanted, but turns out it was full of my dick master's shit. Sent by her ex-mentor/enemy/fellow princess, no less. Then the Bookhorse herself found a library book that she never returned. Oh yeah... I remember now... I hid that borrowed book of hers away like years ago to spite her bitchy attitude by ruining her best book borrower title and had totally forgotten about it! Well, thank you, Princess Trollestia! This should be fun to watch! The perfect icing on the cake after becoming sibling supreme. Anyway, Twilight starts Twilighting about her stupidity, which should have been obvious from the start, and then proceeds to blast off into Canterlot, Team Rocket style.  Upon arrival, she tried putting on a bush disguise which would never have worked unless you were in a hundred player battle royal where you only win when, winner winner chicken dinner, one pony is left standing. Idiot. Then she started lamenting about her improper book borrowing behavior as a librarian. Though, I personally think she’d already lost it when she let Tirek blow up her library treehouse that one time. I'm still pissed that she didn't save my comics, but that dumb pet owl instead... Though this might also explain that damn Bookhorse’s problem of sniffing books. I think she went a bit cuckoo after her all her preciouses were destroyed. And she says that Pinkie is problematic with her drugs!?! Hypocrite.  I also don’t get why she kept worrying about the fine for her overdue book. Dude, you're royalty, go and financially pardon yourself, then. The librarian there did a great job bringing down Twilight's spirits by shaming her for her overdue book. Ha! Comedy gold! I would've kissed that mare if I didn't already have a mare in my heart. Entering the dungeons below, we had to roll a number five to enter the inner sanctum of Dante’s Inferno, where we had to “Abandon all hope for all ye who enter”. You know, doing the type of religious pretentious bullshit you hear in divine comedies.  However, the mare we sought had gone to lunch. Heading to the restaurant, Twilight asked me to look out for any librarian type ponies here. Easy enough. Just look for a purple mare that thinks too highly of herself, bitches about everything, and is eternally sexually frustrated.  Wait... why am I helping her?!? I have better things to do. I'm gonna wait right here and be a waiter to these ponies... A servants job is never done... Then the princess pulls me away all frantic-like explaining that Dusty Pages may have gotten fired for her overdue book. Great. Now I feel bad! I meant to mess with Twilight, not an old mare! Heading to Dusty's old home, we met a grumpy schmuck that guilted Twilight into being an errand mare by delivering Dusty’s mail despite being very vague about her current location being at a Sliver Something Something. Damn NPCs and their dumb side quests! Thus, we travelled around Equestria, which was pretty much us filling up time of the rest of the episode day. We even ended up fighting a guy named Red on top of Mt. Silver. It wasn’t the Silver Something Something location we sought, though.  Oh well, at least we now had multiple fast travel points all around Equestria by the time we finally found the place. Yet, Twilight nearly started a nervous freakout session only thirteen seconds after knocking on Dusty's door. Trust me, I counted. And this leads to, guess what, another search quest. Thus, another few hours of my life wasted. That old mare sure knows how to move fast, as by the time we reached each location, she had already left. This gave her royal bookness a slowly degrading mental breakdown. Hilarious, I know. When we found the whereabouts of Where’s Waldo was, the worrywart went weeping to her about her wrongdoings, but the wrinkly mare went wacko like a wraith and wailed on that worrywart, then walked her way out on a warpath of wrath in a Fruity Warfare Warzone while Twilight is left to wilt and wince in response. Say that five times fast.   Sipping this apple juice afterwards tasted quite sweet, especially with a hint of revenge on top with Twilight’s face planted on the table. Karma's a bitch, ain't it, Twily? She deserves all that scrutiny. Later, we found out that when Princess Nervewreck broke her perfect record, this led to Dusty living a more worthwhile life. Wow, my prank actually helped somepony rather than make their life worse? Hey, Dashie, take some notes. Oh, and here's the kicker. The overdue book's title was called "Perfection: The Impossible Pursuit". What a fitting way to bite back on that purple bitch’s ass. Also, thanks, random pony, for throwing that fruit on the book! Twilight's heart attack was hilarious. At the end of the day, we discovered that the payment for the overdue book cost only twenty eight bits. By that point she was done with life. Ha! Best day ever! I should commemorate this incident. But what I should I even call this whole series of events? The Point of No Return? Twilight's Tremendous Tumble To Terror? Lesson Zero Part Two? Or Lesson 0-2? I can't decide which sounds better! It's like Twilight Flopple all over again! Overall, I had an enjoyable day at the expense of Twilight's torment. Perfect payback for all she's done. And there is no way in hell that this doesn't come back to bite me in the future. Sincerely, Spike Yo Spike, I need you to accompany me to the Dragon Lands so I can meet my sweet and sensitive brother Your friend, Smolder Dear Twilight, So, you're not going to hang out with me after all this time because of something book related again!?! Your designated cameo, Moondancer Dear Moondancer, At least you got to speak. I didn't even get the chance at all despite my talkative nature. And I was even confused for a location! Your fellow cameo, Silverstream Dear Dumbass Muscle Stallion, What's this I hear of a pony shouting bad things about me gran, Dusty Pages, for not changing her mailing address? When I knock on your door this time tomorrow, you had better not say no to fucking my face, or I’m going to punch your face in da face. The Manliest Pony in Equestria, Dustykatt THE FOAL FREE PRESS CANTERLEAVE... OR CAN WE? In preparation for Princess Twilight Sparkle's inevitable ascension to the throne in Canterlot, entire townships, cities, and counties are preparing what has collectively become known as 'Equexita', beginning the process of becoming legally independent of Equestria's capital city. "We'll be thrilled when she's finally out of town, but we don't even want to know what kind of legislation she'll eventually try to pass up there," Ponyville's Mayor Mare commented. "It's probably better if we try not to think about it." Ponyville is far from alone in it's endeavor. Most are hopeful that things will stay the same throughout Equestria, but they want an emergency plan in place in case the new sole ruler wants to flaunt her authority. When asked about what the Canterlotians should do, Mayor Mare was dismissive. "Those rich assholes chose to live up there. If they're afraid of what's coming, they've got plenty of warning to get out of town." Luna affirmed that, indeed, the City of Canterlot has been given a formal warning. "If thou does not want to deal with Sparkle's coming shenanigans, thou shalt get the fuck out."