Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06


Molt Down

Dear Vacuum Cleaner,

So, you have wings now? Good. Now you can clean the ceilings more effectively. Start scrubbing.

Your Headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. You're worried about me kicking you out? I'll kick you out right this instant if you don't replace my burnt lecture notes!

P.P.S Since your balls finally dropped, you would probably be better in bed. Get ready to suck some cunt.


Dear Spike,

For payment of my service to hide you from a friend.
I require Dragon Essence since your Molt is at its end.
But to collect it is quite unorthodox and will fill you with dread.
So steel yourself, young dragon, as I give you some head.

Your friend,
Zecora


MY DEAREST SPIKE,

I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE COMPLETED YOUR MOLT! COME BY MY BOUTIQUE ANYTIME AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A REAL STALLION SHOULD TREAT A LADY SUCH AS MYSELF!!!

YOUR LADY IN WAITING,
RARITY


Dear Rarity,

Look, I don't know what kind of clothing you need me to hold up while you stitch, but if you had a wing fetish you would have been all over Twilight years ago, or at the very least Smolder when we opened the school.

They're called mannequins. Adjust the height, start paying me for my time, or start putting out. Pick one.

Sincerely,
Spike


Dear Smolder,

So, now that my molt is over and I'm a full grown dragon, want to fly together? We can take our relationship to new heights, if you know what I mean.

-Spike


To Dragon Lord Ember,

Permission to go back to dragon lands? Ever since his molt, Spike has been acting more touchy-feely with me and not in a good way. Please reply soon.

Your representative,
Smolder


Dear Smolder,

In case you've forgotten, you were selected to go to Twilight's school because you were getting too touchy-feely with too many dragons here. Crackle is still having nightmares.

See how it feels?

Deal with it. You're not coming home without a Bachelor's Degree in Friendship.

Sincerely,
Dragon Lord Ember


To The Equestrian Society for the Preservation and Conservation of Animals,

I would like to start a Roc farm as a dragon deterrence measure for scientific research on these avian diseases magnificent creatures.

Signed,
Headmistress Twilight Sparkle


Dear Spike,

I wouldn't say that you're grown up just yet. Maybe once you grow up some more you'll finally unlock Alpha Mode.

Your official dragon expert,
Hiccup