Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Your fax machine can get a kiss from Rarity just by giving her a gem? That makes no sense... unless Rarity has a dragon fetish, which would severely reduce your chances of getting in bed with her.
Then again, maybe it was just a birthday present. It certainly seems that he's getting plenty of those this year. I kind of wish he wouldn't though, as I always told you never to give him anything in order to keep his self-esteem low and prevent him from revolting. And also to prevent him from growing up enough to satisfy you with his huge dragon dick.
Anyway, It's too bad they had to celebrate like that. All that stuff really began to trigger his inner greed, which in turn began his maturation into an adult dragon... who could probably fuck you hard enough to satisfy you for years to come.
All that effort in trying to prevent you from getting any sort of pleasure accidentally becoming pregnant wasted.
But anyway, you're quite a clever pony, Twilight. Taking fax machine all around town to steal more stuff, thus making him grow even faster? Then finding a nice secluded spot in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres so that he could give you the fucking you so desperately desire? Very well played. How fortunate that he didn't notice you and instead ran off to get more stuff.
Even so, with his greed getting stronger and stronger with each passing minute, there was certainly a huge risk that he'd eventually begin to seek out a mate, and you'd be there to take up his offer. Why, I shudder to think what would have happened if he'd found those orange rings I keep in my vault. Fortunately, he got to Rarity first, and managed to simultaneously save Ponyville and deny you your banging. I must remember to give that mare an award.
All in all, it sucks to be you and fax machine. I guess you'll have to spend the rest of your days pre-reading crappy fanfics about technicolor horses having sex. That said, I've read the ones you've written yourself, and I can certainly say that they suck worse than anything you could ever pre-read.
Your always-happy-to-aggravate former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: You really fuck up a lot of water towers. No wonder no stallion will fuck you up.