//------------------------------//
// Hearth's Warming Eve 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Hearth's Warming Eve

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, it's that time of year again. The Hearth's Warming Eve pageant. The grand old tale of how this nation of ours was founded. And what's more, you want me and my friends to play the lead parts. Of how three separate nations came together in a time of crisis and we all benefited as a result.

You know what, I'm gonna level with you, your highness. You may be a pain in my ass, and one of the best trolls Equestria has ever seen, but I've gotta say, compared to what it could be like, us Equestrians have got it pretty damn good.

I was browsing through some books in the library, and wouldn't you know, there were some civilizations in eons past who had these systems called 'democracies'. Needless to say, these were some of the most disturbing books I have ever read.

Now bear with me, not all of the book was frightening. The section on direct democracy, where ponies who got up off their asses actually had say in what their government did, wasn't too bad. It could actually work. No, the section that chilled me to the core was representative democracy. Yeah, an elected pony to represent a group of ponies. By Your mane, do you have any idea the number of ways that could be a disaster? There were several documented events where disaster did occur. As per the way representative democracy worked, each region of a nation elected an official political pony to represent them in the nations capitol, along with all the other representatives. Get this, some of them kept voting to give themselves raises on their already exorbitant salaries. Did the ponies they represent do anything? Oh, hell no. They were too busy in their day to day lives to give a fuck what their government was doing. They were pretty content to just bitch and moan, and not actually do anything about it. Another thing that bothered me was how in most cases, there were just two major parties. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Of all the problems nations face, you just want two candidates? Two plans of action? So when an opposite party gets power, you just waste your fucking time undoing what the other party did? How about no? Independent third parties never stood a chance because the fucking stupid-ass populace just kept staring at the two major parties like the idiots they were. But the one thing that absolutely disgusted me the most, was one particular democracy from eons ago. I don't believe this society was ponies, but I couldn't find any record of what species made it up. But get this; every four years, this nation would hold a general election to decide their most politically powerful leader. Seems simple enough, right? The popular vote decides the leader? Not quite. It turns out there was a system in place known as the Electoral College, which decided the outcome, not the popular vote. I crunched some numbers, and figured that it was very possible for a leader to be elected through the College, but not have the majority of the popular vote.

Needless to say, there wasn't a doubt in my mind as to why this species no longer exists. I would not be able to gather enough pity for the fucking degenerates that allowed their country to be run that way.

So while you're still a cunt, I feel that we're lucky to have you calling the shots. No pointless arguing among politicians. No voting. No electoral bullshit. It's your authority, and if anyone disagrees, they'll have an absolutely amazing lunar lifestyle.

I still have a sense of pride for our ancestors that formed this great nation. As they were in that cave, the winds howling outside, they weren't arguing, bickering, or pointlessly debating whether or not the ice forming around their bodies was due to climate change. No, they decided to accept their fate and fucking love each other. And because of that, we are here today, prospering.

Because unlike those pointless politics, we can think outside the chimney.

Your proud nationalist former student,
Twilight Sparkle