Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Games Ponies Play
Dear Princess Celestia,
I cannot believe I actually paid Spike to take care of my owl. I could've had him deliver mail for Hoofwarts for an afternoon, or drop him off with that Blythe girl, I hear she's quite good with pets. Spike of course complained that he didn't get invited along, but I couldn't have him running around trying to eat the Crystal Meth citizens.
So we meet up with Cadance, and Pinkie dives into her Gak pool. After that, we go to the train station with the description of 'somepony with flower print luggage.' Did we confirm the name? Nope. Did we grab the first pony with flower luggage? Yep.
Fate would have it that the actual games inspector would get a massage with the pony from Mustangia, and tell her about our ruse of a welcome. Which, in her 'expert' opinion, amounts to the first unvarnished, unrehearsed, and unbiased appraisal of a potential host of the Equestria Games.
Except that our welcome was varnished.
And rehearsed.
And biased.
But because we gave it to the wrong pony it was none of those things. That totally makes sense.
So congratulations, Princess Cadance Not-Evil-Good-Pony. Your city won the Equestria Games. You know, I honestly think that competition should really be about the best of the best athletes. Not just the ones who haven't gone pro, because that's kind of bullshit if you ask me. Just because ponies get paid for their athleticism, doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to compete in the games. Fuck that. I'd rather make money.
Your cheerleading former student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S.- Rarity, you have got to make those porcupine manestyles a thing. It actually looked kinda badass.