• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 39 minutes ago


I am not contained between my hat and my boots.


~Via Chat:
(trillian) ocalhoun
(google talk) 7485697@gmail.com
(skype) chat.ocalhoun

~I see you!~

total since Dec 2014

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Ministry Statistics

Sinners Absolved: 1
Weddings Performed: 0
Baptisms Performed: 0
Funerals Performed: 0

Roxie made this for me! ^.^

ocalhoun, originally from Bronyville. Author, adventurer, minister, truck driver, webmaster, veteran, professional editor, electronics expert, security guard, inventor, horseman, lover, friend.
Never liked reading incomplete stories, so you won't find any here. Daily updates or the whole story at once.

I'm now on Patreon!
Please help me stay focused and motivated on writing. I need your help!

Editing and proofreading requests are now handled through my Patreon page.

My inspiration to keep going:
(Edited to maintain anonymity.)

My friend [...] recently read One In A Million, as you know. What you may not know is that he loved it so much that he's been telling me all about it and how it really hit him where it hurt. In a good way, though.

For a long time, he's been unable to put fingers to keyboard on his own story, [...], citing it as a piece of trash that should be deleted. He's had low self-esteem ever since I've known him (about 9 months) and he has flirted with the idea of suicide more often than I'd like to admit.

Now, however, he seems to be coming out of his negativity... in quite a few aspects of his life. We're actually friends irl, so it's been wonderful to see the reversal in his attitude to life and writing lately, among other things.

One In a Million changed him. And I have you to thank for that.

Keep on trucking, you beautiful, beautiful bastard. -- NeverEatTheLemonsAlone

Every time I read this story you play with my heartstrings and spit in my face. --Obsidian Raindrop

All hail the messiah of clop! --Mephiles

Quality Stories in Need of Readers

  • Undeliverable A collection of letters to Ponyville's Mailmare by ocalhoun 1,195 words · 3,197 views · 336 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Guardians of the Old Forest For centuries, timberwolves have guarded their secrets in the deepest corners of the old forest, but that may change when Roseluck stumbles in. A war is brewing under the shadows of the trees. by ocalhoun 17,659 words · 869 views · 76 likes · 3 dislikes
  • The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart Many times Nurse Redheart has seen to the comfort of ponies in their final hours. When her turn comes, though, she has only you. by ocalhoun 5,279 words · 2,037 views · 163 likes · 16 dislikes
  • A Rose For Luna Finally, Roseluck's special project is complete. Now, it's time for her to request an audience with Princess Luna, and see if her rose really does give her luck. by ocalhoun 2,884 words · 3,440 views · 491 likes · 8 dislikes
  • What the Heart Craves The tumultuous romance and drama of a young mare's greatest crisis. by ocalhoun 31,618 words · 1,310 views · 93 likes · 16 dislikes

Blockbuster Hits

  • One In A Million Scootaloo finally finds her special talent. It's the worst week of her life. by ocalhoun 53,741 words · 15,961 views · 1,555 likes · 144 dislikes
  • The Clothes Make The Mare Twilight writes to Princess Celestia for an explanation of an insidious issue Shining Armor told her about... but she ends up finding a secret that will change her life forever. by ocalhoun 7,727 words · 18,209 views · 931 likes · 62 dislikes
  • Princess Celestia is in your bed. Princess Celestia is inexplicably in your bed. by ocalhoun 1,111 words · 31,209 views · 3,024 likes · 76 dislikes
  • Unicorn Horns Are Made Of Candy A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor! by ocalhoun 2,526 words · 15,934 views · 1,853 likes · 39 dislikes
  • The Most Annoying Infestation Rainbow discovers that she has a pest problem in her house. The pest turns out to be both cuter and more annoying than she expected. by ocalhoun 4,488 words · 13,605 views · 1,717 likes · 25 dislikes

Gallery of Feels

  • On Wings Of Love Scootaloo has a good day. She deserves it. by ocalhoun 4,422 words · 2,901 views · 197 likes · 9 dislikes
  • The White Bottle Zecora hates her little hut. The path is always silent, and the door is always shut. Will she choose her last relief, or will she suffer through her grief? by ocalhoun 1,056 words · 1,738 views · 113 likes · 8 dislikes
  • A Mother's Love Never Dies The bittersweet triumph of a mother's love, an unforgiving reality, and the unsung loss of a queen. by ocalhoun 6,687 words · 4,865 views · 417 likes · 8 dislikes

Best of my Comedy and Randomness

  • Celly's Day Off Celestia wants to take a day off, but thing just keep getting in the way... just like they have for thousands of years. by ocalhoun 4,329 words · 1,804 views · 179 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Discord Finds Jesus. Literally. Discord goes looking for a new friend, and he finds one: Jesus. by ocalhoun 4,177 words · 5,148 views · 262 likes · 91 dislikes
  • Pony Express The Planet Express delivery company takes a delivery to a planet called 'Equestria'. This won't end well. by ocalhoun 15,206 words · 2,628 views · 190 likes · 14 dislikes
  • A Frog's Life Croak, ribbit, am I right? This is the story of why I don't like ponies. by ocalhoun 1,619 words · 878 views · 54 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Slim Pickings According to Equestrian law, Twilight must marry a prince... and there's only one eligible bachelor prince in Equestria. by ocalhoun 1,438 words · 5,461 views · 464 likes · 41 dislikes
Comments ( 1046 )
  • Viewing 1,027 - 1,046 of 1,046

Just want to let you know that even though we disagree on stuff in groups, I still like your stories. <3

If 'my tongue wanted to slip out' or 'I wanted to slip my tongue out of my mouth' won't do, then "my tongue wanted to slip out of my mouth" is preferable, I think.

'The tongue' sounds strange and oddly impersonal, like it doesn't even belong to you.

It's all subjective anyway, and there's no rule that says you can't have two 'my's in the same sentence. Whatever helps accomplish the goals of the story.

I am the editor for that story and another example about the my usage. I changed a sentence from The tongue wanted to slip out of my mouth to my tongue wanted to slip out of my mouth. The author is uncomfortable with having two my's in the same sentence. how would we resolve this.

2494958 Thank you. I agree with you. Your sentence reads better than the one I posted.


Even after I kicked her in her torso, she didn’t move off of me.

Even after I kicked her in the torso, she didn’t move off of me.
Readers will understand that she didn't kick herself or someone else in the torso.

Don't know if that's relevant to the exact situation you're in, but if it isn't, you could let me fix the exact quote you're struggling with.

Quick question. Do you ever use the word 'my' twice in a sentence in your first-PoV stories? I don't want to, but it seems I'll be forced to do just that. I don't know how else to solve it without 'detaching' body parts.
I'd love to know how you deal with your mys in your stories.

How would you fix this one, for instance:

Even after I kicked her in her torso, she didn’t move off of me.


If I knew how to post to a group, I would totally do that XD

Sure! And add it to the group as well. ^.^

Hi, so I found the Blinkverse series of stories a couple days ago and read all of them and after the initial trauma wore off I wanted to write a sequel. So I was hoping it'd be okay with you (and also Foals Errand, since what I ended up writing is a sequel to Eye's Open) if I could post it.

I'll let you read it before then, of course, to give a stamp of approval, but I wished to ask regardless.

I'm glad you have enlightened me. I love you.

:facehoof: Because some skin needs to stretch more than others ... and as the skin meets the limits of its elasticity, it will wrinkle (rather than just stretch back to a smaller size) when it contracts.

Have you ever wondered why we have wrinkles in some places but not others? I do. Sometimes.

2472539 Awesome! My OCD is eternally thankful to you. I'm sure to take forever before publishing my stories now. :pinkiecrazy:

You have a checklist of grammatical things you verify before you publish a story. May I see it?

  • Viewing 1,027 - 1,046 of 1,046
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Too many groups!