• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


I am not contained between my hat and my boots.


There are ducks in Twilight Sparkle's basement, and she is sure that they are evil ducks.

Yes, this story is bad and I should feel bad.
But I don't.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 87 )

A hilariously overblown tale of eldritch anatidae. Thank you for it.

Story Approver

There are ducks in Twilight Sparkle's basement, and she is sure that they are evil ducks.

I... okay?

Good! Somebody likes it! ^.^

Yay, random? :rainbowwild:

Yeah, ducks at best are dicks.

This guy knows what's up.

Just who is the greatest form of evil?

The last of the bloodline of the Beast of Caerbannog Also known as Angel Bunny
Stay tuned

Hey, is that a Demon Duck of some sort?

Story Approver

It's on my "Read Later" list, I don't know what I should expect.

I've never met a duck who was anything worse than slightly mischievous.” Fluttershy shakes her head.

She lies. Look up duck mating. But beware, I don't think even Safe Search will protect you from the inevitable mental scarring.


(Cover image)... That is one very malevolent-looking duck.

I'm just gonna say this now. "I. Hate. Ducks"

Angel Bunny, obviously.

A what now?

*throws bread*

Obviously, Twilight has looked it up, while Fluttershy always gives her critters privacy.

^.^ Spent a long time looking for obviously evil ducks.
this was another possibility.

But duck eggs are delicious.
Seriously, try one. And from then on, you'll think chicken eggs taste gross.

Comment posted by Luxter77 deleted May 5th, 2017

... it.... I...
I'm not sure how I feel about this...

8142746 I don't have to look it up. We have a few ducks...Everyday I look at the drakes and I can imagine them thinking "It's RAPING time!"

Good. ^.^

True ... but ducks are hardly unique in the natural world when it comes to not putting much priority on consent.

I have to admit, I was quacking up with laughter while I read this. Great job, ocalhoun. :rainbowlaugh:

Huh. Only one downvote so far ... and it's from one of my Patreon supporters. Go figure.

^.^ I try.
What's the best part?

But ... that's a chicken.

Twilight should have bought a Duck-be-Gone.

You can solve all of your problems with a woodchipper.

Hmm. Probably the delivery. The almost narrational tone and the way you set up the situation is excellent. Plus, I simply love ducks. :twilightsmile:

You love ducks?
You and 8142763 must now fight.

Yeah, but then your problems become a mess.

For a story you consider to be bad, it didn't take too long to make it to the Feature box. Then again a lot of good writers grossly underestimate their work. But then again this is the same site that Featured a JonTron joke fic that was loaded with clips from his show and people thought that was worth lauding although I'VE BEEN DOING THAT KIND OF THING FOR YEARS WITH MY OTHER STORIES YA FINICKY UNAPPRECIATIVE COCKAMAMIE—(Proceeds to rant wildly and foam at the mouth over things that have absolutely nothing to do with the story or author in question)

Addendum: While also listening to and badly belting out the chorus to Rob Zombie's "Dragula"

Only the SFW feature box, for now.
Feature Box, I am disappoint. This story should not be in there.


Yeah, but then your problems become a mess.

Nothing that a good quality hose and a Knobs & Nozzles brand Nº 5 fire-hose nozzle ( for attachment thereto) can't fix.

Duck.exe has stopped working

At least they weren't geese.

If I ever decided to become a DM in my DnD group, I'll put menacing ducks in it.
I love these ducks.


Why do you do what you do?

I love it, but...why?


This story was chosen by my Patreon supporters!

Doesn't this story already have enough?

Do it! ^.^ That would be so much fun.

^.^ Rhyming has always been easy for me.
But if I do it too much, I start thinking in rhyme.

Then Twilight would have to burn down her castle.


Tufted ducks? Quacking? This is truly unsettling content.

Maybe I should have rated it as [teen]?


Story Approver

I haven't read it yet. Though I'm fairly certain it has to do with eldritch ducks. :unsuresweetie:


Oh, definitely, the poor little kids won't be able to recover from the trauma! :raritydespair: Kidding, of course, the rating's fine!

I think the species you picked for your header - Tufted Ducks - actually made this story funnier for me, heh. They're fairly common around here and the idea of them being evil is hilarious. :raritywink:
They, uh, don't actually quack at all like mallards do, it's more of a soft quaw-quaw-quaw noise, and they're about half the size too. One of the more chill sorts of ducks, actually. They hang out in the middle of the lake and dive for their food, so people waving bread at them from the shore does nothing. Fun to watch them bobbing around, though.

This one is definitely the most evil-looking, though.

Not the strangest thing I've read. In the top ten, though.

I haven't read it yet either. I was just making a junk-joke that's literally older than I am.

You must not look very deep into the dregs of fimfic...

Amusing, and I like the rhymes. :twilightsmile:


She slams that fowl door shut.

Booooooooooo! :rainbowlaugh:

“I've never met a duck who was anything worse than slightly mischievous.” Fluttershy shakes her head.

I'll have you know that scientists have determined that most duck sex is non-consensual.

El Goonish Shive reference.

This was good. I liked it.

Puns! ^.^

Fluttershy always gives them privacy, so she doesn't know.

^.^ What's your favorite part?

8143777 Your use of dramatic flair for explaining even the littlest detail.


Well-written and funny story! Also kind of classic in the depiction of how a single thought and uncertainty can completely derail a pony. For that, a favourite is earned!


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